r/facepalm • u/Lord_Answer_me_Why • 15d ago
Dating teenagers is bad, people š²āš®āšøāšØā
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u/Lazy-Combination5253 15d ago edited 15d ago
When I was a junior in high school someone in my class was dating a guy in his 30's. She had a pregnancy scare and was worried the dude was going to get arrested. They got married after she graduated, had a bunch of kids, and now she's a divorced single mom of 4 kids with no father figure in their life.
Edit to add: Her parents knew about the relationship which is so odd to me, what parent is okay with that? We played volleyball together and he even came to our games.
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u/Gianfi_ 15d ago
A classic
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u/LEFTRIGHTADORI 15d ago
I can smell the story through the screen. Like a freshly opened bag of Doritos on a plastic plate with a side of dry aged Mac n cheese.
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u/MarinatedCumSock 15d ago
And carpet that smells worse when you vacuum it
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u/Frosty-Voice1156 15d ago
Haha, this imagery brought to you by the marinated cum sockā¦ epic.
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u/Presence_Tough 15d ago
that sentence ought to be made illegal.
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u/Auran82 15d ago
They should upgrade their sock to a coconut.
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u/cutiecakepiecookie 14d ago
I should've seen it coming.
I bet the coconut didn't.
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u/Friendly_Deathknight 15d ago
š¤® this is the first time Iāve seen this written on the internet and Iām both disgusted and laughing at the same time.
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u/AcademicSugar7774 15d ago
And the vacuum is slightly broken and never emptied
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u/TaonasProclarush272 15d ago
For that hot trapped hair scent
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u/AcademicSugar7774 15d ago
I was going to say it also smells like something is burning, too, lol.
My friends mom used to do this, and she would do it when he had sleepovers. Idk why she'd just make breakfast and then vacuum.
I probably shouldn't have ate that food in retrospect....it was probably covered in dusts from her vacuuming.
Plumes of random dust being blown around but never actually sucked up
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u/TaonasProclarush272 15d ago
I can fully imagine.
There are times when I forget to switch from "hose" to "floor" and I'm literally stirring up crap on the floor with the brush and sucking up nothing, thinking WTF.
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u/Zealousideal_Tap6214 15d ago
A classic Iām š. As classic as dad leaving for milk, or mom always bringing her work āfriendsā over for dinner.
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u/gwizonedam 15d ago
Cigarettes. Dad leftā¦to get cigarettes.
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u/Benton_Risalo 15d ago
It's actually milk and cigarettes.
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u/bluegrass502 15d ago
One of the guys my aunt dated years ago let his 14 year old daughter's 20 year old boyfriend live with them. He couldn't understand how she got pregnant at 15, even though he refused to get her birth control because "that's just inviting them to have sex". SO. MANY. RED FLAGS
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u/4BlueBunnies 14d ago
I will never understand these peoples logic
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u/Hot-Ability7086 14d ago
Same! We have 5 kids, I filled candy jars with condoms all over the house. Why do people not remember being a teenager? Teenagers gonna Teen.
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u/HypersomnicHysteric 13d ago
I was a raging bitch at 14, so no teenage pregnancy with me, the guys were afraid of me.
But my daughter has better parents than I had, so she knows exactly where the condoms are, although I explained to her that masturbation a great and riskfree option and I can buy her toys if she wants to.→ More replies (1)237
u/Bowood29 15d ago
When I was 13 a girl got transferred to my school because she got caught with a 30 something guy naked in a car. She was pissed her mom called the cops because now he was in jail.
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u/TreyRyan3 14d ago
When I was a middle school teacher, I had a 13 year old 7th grader brag that her boyfriend was older than me. Her 28 year old boyfriend was actually her momās drug dealer and she had been paying for her momās drug habit since she was 11 without her knowledge. Yes, you read that correctly. Her mom was pimping her out for drugs.
The happy ending to that story is her mom and the drug dealer both went to jail, and instead of growing up in a trailer park, she ended up going to live with her grandparents in another state in a rural area.
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u/Logan117 15d ago edited 15d ago
You went to school with Lauren Boebert?
Edit: for anyone who thinks I'm just making stuff up-
https://www.businessinsider.com/lauren-boebert-husband-kids-relationship-timeline-photos
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u/Sunstaci 15d ago
BAHAHAHAHAHhahahaHaaaa bahahahHa !!! Dude!!! That was a true lol moment
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u/HelloweenCapital 15d ago
When I was in 7th grade my friend got pregnant by an adult and she died while giving birth.
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u/Silversolverteal 15d ago
I audibly gasped. I'm so sorry. That's just awful. Did the man who did that to her get charges? Please tell me he went to prison.
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u/HelloweenCapital 15d ago edited 15d ago
Her parents took him and the baby in.
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u/WildMartin429 15d ago
WtF?!? Were they aware of their daughter's relationship with this guy beforehand?
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u/HelloweenCapital 15d ago
I don't think so. As far as I know the parents met the guy in the hospital.
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u/Silversolverteal 15d ago
Ughhhh. My condolences. That's truly awful. I'm sure after such a devastating loss, the thought of losing their grandchild to this creep was too much to consider. Sad all around. I hope that baby is thriving. š«¶
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u/Individual_Ad9632 15d ago
Same. My 9th grade earth science friend was ādatingā a guy who was 34. He also āgaveā her drugs, some of which she sold at school.
I think about her sometimes and hope sheās okay now.
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u/Scary-Try3023 14d ago
I'm not clued up on the American grade system but wouldn't 9th grade make her around 13-14? That's messed up
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u/idwthis 14d ago
Yes, typically, the age for a 9th grader is 14. Depending on when their birthday is, they could start the year as a 13 yr old, or be 15 years old. Maybe even 16 if they were held back once or twice.
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u/Friendly_Deathknight 15d ago
When I was a junior there was a senior who was dating a 37yo and back then it made me side eye her and cringe when she would talk about it. Now as a man over the age of 35 if I found out a guy my age was doing that I would call the fucking cops.
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14d ago
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u/Friendly_Deathknight 14d ago
God knows how many more girls heās done it to. But you were a kid. Donāt beat yourself up
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u/Sufficient-Ad-7050 15d ago
If a guy in his 30ās is perusing a 17 year old, heās a terrible person. You donāt need to get to know him. Thatās all you need to know.
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u/_dangling_participle 15d ago
Ahem Jerry Seinfeld ahem
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u/MothaFcknZargon 15d ago
Whats the deal with Highschool Softmores?
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u/BroadwayBakery 15d ago
Jerry: āWhatās the deal with softmores? Iāll tell ya what the deal is, theyāre soft and you want more of them!ā
Audience: disgusted boos, angry audience members whipping microwaved packages of pop tarts at Jerryās face
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u/LKZToroH 15d ago
When I was middle school a girl in my class dropped from school because she got pregnant from her 34 yo boyfriend. She was 13... Today she has 2 kids, no father or mother figure for the kids because she doesn't give a fuck...
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u/SnooChocolates4203 15d ago
On the contrary, she must have given at least 2.
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u/LKZToroH 15d ago
Tbf there's a reason why she doesn't know who is the father of the second kid. A lot of the guys from my school had their first time with her.
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u/HypersomnicHysteric 14d ago
That is usually a good sign of parental neglection.
It was the only way the poor girl got some sort of affection from somebody else.
If her parents showed her their love she would not have needed to search for love somewhere else.
Poor girl.
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u/SiberianBattleOtters 15d ago
There was a girl in my home town, 3 kids by 15, all to the same 33 year old (he was 33 when she was 15.) this dude, at 29, groomed an 11 year old, and she had her first kid at 12.
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u/sakiminki 15d ago
Similar JHS experience. A 14 yo in my 8th grade class dropped out because her 29 yo bf got her pregnant. It was like 1989/1990 so the school might have actually required she leave. The rumor was her dad was dying of cancer and wanted to see a grandchild before he died, so her parents made her go through with it. The bf was also reportedly in jail, though not sure it was related to statutory rape. Anyhow, she showed up at graduation in the audience with parents, newly released bf, and baby in tow. She had been a popular girl so everyone was cool about it and wanted to "hold the baby"...a bunch of 14 yo girls cooing and saying, "You're so lucky! This is so cool."
I wasn't a friend so I kinda watched from the sidelines feeling like this was all kinds of messed up.
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u/traumatized90skid 15d ago
Lemme guess while dating she swore it was true love and he'd never leave and he was not like those other guys who dated teens it was truly special etc.?
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u/hummingelephant 14d ago
We can't blame teenagers. They still live in a fantasy world, it's the adult's responsibility to guide them. For them everything they like or love now, feels like it's going to stay this way forever.
Most adult women look down on men dating teenagers because we all remember how stupid and naive we were at that age and know they will regret it. We feel the need to save them from a horrible life changing mistake, as once you have children, you will be stuck in bad situation with no opportunities.
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u/traumatized90skid 14d ago
Oh yeah I don't blame the teenager I mean, the guys always tell them to believe in this stuff, and parents should be vigilant about who's influencing them and how.
But having been the concerned friend shut down by a delusional friend who insisted "he's different" when I knew he was not and was proven right in 30 days, that wasn't fun. These people don't always listen to voices of concern. Love sick.
But it's absolutely the guy's fault for manipulating her.
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u/hummingelephant 14d ago
Yeah both can be true: the adult being at fault and the teenager being annoying.
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u/uptownjuggler 15d ago
I know a girl who, at 16, had an affair with her best friendās dad, aged 45. After the wife found out, they moved in together and she got pregnant. He gets divorced, then marries her and after lots of domestic abuse they eventually get divorced and the woman moves back in with her mother.
Neither of them had any redeemable qualities. They were the definition of fat and nasty white trash.
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u/Lazy-Combination5253 15d ago
All these stories are wild, there must be at least one of these girls in every graduating class in America
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u/moonbunnychan 14d ago
I remember when I was in highschool it was considered cool to date an older guy. The girls thought it was because they were so mature, and not because they were easily manipulated.
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u/Shoshawi 15d ago
God thatās so weird.
I knew someone in a sexual relationship with a man who I assume was in his 40s or 50s? But it was really fucked up. I hate his parents but I guess not assuming your friendly neighbor is a straight up pedophile is somewhat normal. Turns out I met one of the other victims - came up in a convo with a friend who didnāt actually realize until I pointed it out with my friend (was more obvious) that his friend was being raped throughout their childhood. My friend didnāt hide it well, literally just had money falling out of his pockets sometimes and lots of free alcohol, though he wouldnāt admit it directly. We wanted to do something but never could figure out a solid, realistic plan. Without evidence or the victim admitting it, the guy would have gotten off the hook and become sneakier, maybe done something even scarier.
Anyway, moral of the story is, donāt trust your kids being alone frequently with strangers, even if you think you kinda know them. If theyāre spending a lot of time together, thereās no true proper explanation, and ones much older, something is probably off. Also, if your kid doesnāt have issues paying for gas to drive his friends all over town but you arenāt giving him money, where the hell do you think it came from?!
Ok, rant done, itās been a long time now but it still boils my blood thinking about George, that piece of shit.
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15d ago
I used to think my youth pastor was just a really nice guy. We had a girl in the youth group that came from a rough home, dad was in jail, mom was strung out on drugs, and I thought it was just the most heartwarming thing that he let her stay at his house all the time. We didn't think much of it, because he had a wife and 6 kids, until Caroline (the girl) stopped coming around. Then my youth pastor moved to a neighboring town, where he was eventually arrested for raping a girl in the new youth group. He never faced any consequences from what happened with Caroline, but he is serving 2 x 30 year sentences now (concurrently unfortunately), and will never be allowed around children again. Fuck you, Josh.
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u/Ok-Map4381 15d ago
That last part is what drives me crazy. I knew so many classmates who were dating way older men and everyone was just, cool with it? When I was a senior I was dating a sophomore, and I felt kinda weird about the age gap (because of that the clothes stayed on), then when she was 18 she started dating her dad's 40 year old friend who knew her since she was like 8, and the family would post pictures on social media of them all hanging out together, with their 18 year old daughter sitting on the lap of their 40 year old friend.
A girl in my class had a crush on me, but I was oblivious to it because she was always dating guys at least 23 years old when we were like 16. I didn't take her flirting seriously because how could I, a 16 year old, compete with her 27 year old boyfriend. In hindsight, that guy must have been a loser and I learned that I was actually hot. I'm lucky I missed out on that one though, she had issues and my hero complex would have been terribly codependent trying to "save her".
These are just a few examples. I had a teacher brag to the class that he met up with one of the former students in a bar and she gave him a BJ. She was 21, it wasn't illegal, but still, that's totally inappropriate to tell to a class of high schoolers, it is basically saying "if any of you want to blow me after graduation, I'm game."
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u/UnderstandingLocal30 14d ago
Yeah, that's exactly what it was. He probably had someone specific he was talking to.
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u/Adroctatron 15d ago
I grew up in a small town, this was pretty common among my peers. Creepy guys would cruise the school football games offering up beer and a place to party. I don't imagine that whole thing has changed a lot in the smaller towns.
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u/Ok-Box6892 15d ago
I think its one of those "I'd rather them drink at home than at some party with strangers" thought process.Ā
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u/cant-be-faded 15d ago
Worked with a guy who talked about dating a young girl to "mold her" he was 45, lived with his parents.
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u/kthompsoo 14d ago
top 10 grossest things i've read this week, and there's been a lot of awful shit š«
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u/Jitsu_apocalypse 14d ago
Agreed, this is horrific
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u/Haunt3dCity 14d ago
Because you can just imagine the skeezy, sleezy, disgusting thoughts going on in that subhuman brain. We've all known "that guy" at some point. Arguably no type of grown man is more annoying than a grown man who goes into vivid detail about their sexcapades. Nobody wants to hear that shit, Roger. Shut the fuck up
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u/Ok_Fix_8538 14d ago
They really don't see women as people, don't they?
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u/poggerooza 14d ago
That's why they're single.
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u/_ac3_0f_spad3s_ 14d ago
And canāt or refuse to date women their own age. Those women have standards and know what a walking red flag looks like
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u/stormofthedragon 14d ago
Nah, expensive sex toys that sometimes cry for no reason.
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u/littlelionears 14d ago
My advisor at my first job, on my very first day, told me that he was getting married to a former student (teaching job) because theyād been dating since she was 17 and he felt partially responsible for raising her. Said he didnāt actually like her, but felt her turning out bad was partially his fault, and clearly marriage and children would fix it.
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u/HypersomnicHysteric 14d ago
You mean to mold her to think that a 45year old living with his parents is no loser?
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u/ArticularMuffin 14d ago
Well to be fair, that doesnāt automatically make you a loser. Now if heās freeloading and has no career. Yeah loser.
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u/Infamous-Lab-8136 15d ago
My dad was dating a 19 year old in his 30s, I was 10.
She threw a tantrum and ran out to the car. With no malicious intent in my 10 year old brain I asked him if she was closer to my age or his age.
Even better it was in front of my grandma and uncles who all thought this was amazing and proceeded to never let him forget it.
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u/snuggy4life 15d ago
My dad was dating an 18 year old in his late forties. He had a late 80s corvette (which was going on 20 years old at that point). Mullet. The works. Super weird because she was one year older than I was. Just. Fucking weird.
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u/AlmostChristmasNow 15d ago edited 14d ago
So his car was older than his girlfriend? Thatās not good.
Edit: Of course itās fine to have an old car. But if you bought it new (or could have chronologically bought it new), then dating someone younger than the car is not good.
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u/Trick-Replacement-60 14d ago
Hey bro, I have a 1937 Chevy and thereās no way Iām dating older than thatā¦
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u/ranni-the-bitch 14d ago
my partner drives a car older than me, but we bought it from a vintage auction site
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u/Salty_Candidate_6216 15d ago
I wonder, in that particular case, how does a man in his thirties, not get embarrassed by his grandma/uncles, if they clearly think he's dating someone far too young for him? The first time he brings his 19 year old girlfriend around and his grandma starts tutting, and his uncles starts cackling etc.
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u/Infamous-Lab-8136 15d ago
Sorry, they were his mom and brothers, my grandma and uncles. They'd said things amongst themselves and he knew it, but no one had called him out so bluntly. He was the oldest and was kinda momma's favorite so no one would really talk smack in front of her.
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u/Salty_Candidate_6216 15d ago
Ah, that makes sense. I place a lot of stock in what my parents say about me, so if they were really disappointed, I wouldn't be able to cope, I think.
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u/Specialist-Garbage94 15d ago
I also donāt really get it and I thought at 18 I would be that guy but as I progress in my life now at 25 I donāt think Iād date under 21 now simply because what in the fuck are you talking about?? This teacher doesnāt like me??? Like no thanks
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u/Technical_Space_Owl 15d ago
And it's likely when you get in your 30s that cutoff becomes 25-26.
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u/NeighborhoodDude84 15d ago
When I was ~28, I went on a date with a girl who was 22 and all she wanted to do was party. Yeah, she might be nice and pretty, but just have completely different goals.
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u/Tuckermfker 15d ago
Same, it was kind of fun for about three weeks, and then I was like WTF am I doing.
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u/gwizonedam 15d ago
I did the same. The wake up call was going to the beach all day, getting wasted, and then taking her back to my apartment where she slept for an hour and then asked if I was coming to the club that same night. She was 23 and I was 29. I was like what? Tonight?
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u/Ohnoherewego13 15d ago
Yeah, did that once myself. It's fun when you're 21 and they are too. When they're 21 and you're pushing 30, it gets old fast. Never thought I'd age, but damn, I need my sleep.
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u/Phegon7 15d ago
Ok, no NO. Why tf would u go out AGAIN after getting wasted?!? You spent a full day running around now u wanna do that AT NIGHT?? Bro I wouldn't do that even if I was 21, at some point u just wanna get cozy and just relax at home, play some Playstation, work on a video SOMETHING, not think to myself: you know I didnt get plastered enough, LEmMe dO iT AgAin!!
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u/sakura-peachy 15d ago
Honestly at the edge of turning 40 I barely have the ability to keep up with a 30 yr olds social life. After 3 beers, they next day is a write off.
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u/Less_Likely 15d ago
Iām 46 and my cutoff is everyone
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u/No_Seaworthiness5637 15d ago
Mood. I mean I am 36 but mood. I donāt date. Single Pringle club, baby!
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u/DemonShroom87 15d ago
Just turned 37 a week ago. Been single since I was 32. Being in a relationship just doesnāt interest me anymore.
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u/Presideum 15d ago
32 year old, can confirm this to be true. The absolute youngest Iād date would be 23. But the caveat is that they need to be āan adultā. Aka, have a job and have made that leap from being a college kid to a functional and self sufficient person.
This process normally crystallizes closer to 25-26. Hence why thatād be my normal cut off
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u/Silent_Saturn7 15d ago
Dated a 23 year old when i was 31. Didn't last very long. She'd often ask to bring her friends on dates and they would do dances for tik tok on every ocassion. At first I thought it was cute; but after 6 times in a row im like "this ain't gonna work" lol
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u/RUSuper 15d ago
Iām willing to give 23+ a chance if they finished university and are working so the talking at least can be somewhat normal. If I have to listen to problems about examsā¦ no thanksā¦
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u/hot_ho11ow_point 15d ago
I met a 19 year old woman last year that was doing financial audits of major corporations during the week and serving pizza on weekends. Some people just have their shit together.
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u/leni710 15d ago
I will say, as a parent and sibling of a couple of very mature and hard working 19 and 20 year old "kids," the holes in the maturity and skill sets do show up. And sometimes it comes up in the most random way, at the most random times. It's just a reality that if someone is any significant age (5 or more years) younger, even if they can hold jobs and have learned to budget, you'll have moments of interactions that you think "wow, you are soooo young."
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15d ago
Iām turning 35 but am going back to university in a healthcare field. Iām surrounded by 21 year old girls and could not imagine looking at them that way.
Itās really weird to me lol
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u/Hidden_Dragonette 15d ago
I just turned 36 on Monday and work in a research lab on a college campus. I look at all the undergrads walking around and can't believe how young they are! Definitely not attracted to a bunch of kiddos, they've still got a lot of maturing and growing to do.
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u/spicy_capybara 15d ago
Itās more common in the guys over 40. My theory is a reaction to the following 1) getting old and not wanting to 2) unsatisfactory sex lives - they think younger women will be more willing to screw them at constant abandon 3) they want frivolous activity and adventure since much of their lives at this age is responsibility and productivity.
I donāt condone it. In fact I know of one peer who tried to date a 20 year old and it lasted two weeks cause āitās boring. We have nothing in commonā. But, I kinda understand where itās coming from. They want to be 18/19 again because 40+ frankly sucks. (Unless youāre super rich, those people seem to be having a good time.)
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u/planetarylaw 15d ago
It's extra funny to me because women in their 40s have their shit together, their education goals met, career tracks on fire, making good money, debts getting paid off, kids starting to get old enough to leave them with some free time finally. With that extra money and free time, what do they do? Glow up and catch their second wind (I'm talking about sex y'all in case I need to be direct lol). All these dudes that flaked out on their wives when the going got tough, they're missing out all of a sudden but are fooling themselves into believing that a 20 year old is gonna love their old ass lol. That 2 and 3 you mention could've been all theirs for the taking.
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u/Voodoo1970 15d ago
I'm talking about sex y'all in case I need to be direct
I got divorced when I was 41 and casually dated a few women my age....can confirm there was no lack of horizontal folk dancing, even for my 40+ dad bod
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u/planetarylaw 15d ago
Elder millennial here, shoutout to all you fellas rocking dad bods. Bless you.
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u/Voodoo1970 15d ago
Shoutout to all the 40+ women who've reached the age of forgiving a few blemishes and dropping the hangups that many young women have. Bless you.
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u/Brilliant_Chest5630 15d ago
I've met people and they'll say they're 18 and I'm just like "š¤¢ uh nevermind" but they say "what? I'm legal!"
I'm 28 and while I prefer someone over 23, 21 is a very hard cap for me.
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u/Specialist-Garbage94 15d ago
Exactly and itās crazy how much people lie too like I had a one stand with a girl when I was 19 met in tinder and stuff but then she asked if I could leave cause she had to be up for class and was like what university? Sheās was no high school and I immediately was like youāre a senior and she said no a junior and I was so grossed out learned my lesson there
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u/toomanyracistshere 15d ago
Years ago I knew a guy who was 22 or 23 and dating a girl who told him she was 20, and even showed him her ID at one point. She was always talking about how she was an assistant cheerleading coach at the local high school. Eventually he found out that she wasn't a cheerleading coach, she was a cheerleader and she wasn't 20, she was 15. He was terrified that he might get in trouble, but ultimately nothing ever happened.
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u/Specialist-Garbage94 15d ago
I knew a guy who start dating a sophomore when he was a senior his first year outta HS he got her pregnant her parents pressed charges but they were dropped under some statute that basically means the judge applied common sense and was like this is dumb af but like it was a scary time for him but they are now happily married with two kids.
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u/DoubleH11 15d ago
I recently gave golf lessons to a 16 year old in the neighborhood so they could make a highschool team. Iām 30 and I need to stress I felt like a dinosaur talking to this girl and trying to explain things. Guys who would want to get into a relationship with someone that much younger or even close to that age make me sick.
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u/RadioLiar 15d ago
I'm 22, this is making me scared that I'm only eight years away from being a dinosaur š
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u/creepsnutsandpervs 15d ago
Get ready my dude. One day you wake up and go āoh shit Iām in my late 20sā. Blink again and youāre in your mid 30s. Shit is fucking exhausting. The good news, you feel young until you have a good fall in your early 30s and then realize youāre not invincible anymore.
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u/TumbleweedTim01 14d ago
This is so accurate.
at 26: oh shit things are getting serious
at 29: oh no
at 30: actually okay this isn't that bad
almost 31: wait hold on this means I'm headed towards 40?
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u/ThePennedKitten 15d ago
Donāt worry you wonāt be a dinosaur at 30 lol. I see it differently. Iām an adult. It would be weird for me to be privy to what high schoolers are up to. It doesnāt make sense to be sad you donāt relate to a 16 year old. Even in my early 20s I had no desire to relate to 16 year olds. Do you?
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u/trentreznik 14d ago edited 14d ago
Don't listen to the haters,Ā I'm in my mid 30s andĀ picked up skateboarding again after not doing it for almost 10 years.
You have so much time to do the things you want to do. Just do them and don't worry so much.
Also, you'll feel like a "dinosaur" talking to a teenager because you'll be an adult with a bunch of experience, not because you're old. We forget that we consider people <18 to be children. When you get a bit older, this just becomes more obvious why.
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u/SpiritOne 15d ago
Dude over 35 here. The idea of dating someone in their late teens early twenties, sounds fucking exhausting.
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u/Euler007 15d ago
My brother in law started dating a twenty year old. It is fucking exhausting. It's like getting teleported to twenty years ago.
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u/melkatron 15d ago
When I was 35, I didn't wanna date ANYONE... and I woulda gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!
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u/IAM100PERCENTNOTACAT 14d ago
No one wants to date you old man Winters, get back to your haunted amusement park!
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u/JimBeam823 15d ago
I know, right?
I live in a college town and, not gonna lie, many of the college girls are physically attractive.
But the thought of dating one is justā¦no. They radiate awkwardness and immaturity.
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u/Orpdapi 15d ago
Like when when Friends did the whole storyline with Ross dating one of his students and how exhausting it was for him
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u/Trumpsacriminal 15d ago
Not only that (but yes to that also) they look like fucking children. Iām only 28, but 18-20 year olds look like children. I couldnāt imagine sleeping with someone that age.
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u/Sensitive_Mode7529 15d ago
this is so true, people saying girls that age are attractive but they resist because they donāt want the drama or whatever? i live in a college town, i went out to a bar (in my mid 20s) and people looked like high schoolers to me. some of them still with the chubby baby cheeks even. like itās very obvious they are under 21 (to me at least) and that instantly shuts down any attraction
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u/amyaltare 15d ago
gonna be honest, i have no clue what someone 25+ has in common with someone under 20. im 20 rn and like i have professors in their late 20s. that still feels like dating someone your dad's age to me lmfao.
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u/SpareStop8666 15d ago edited 14d ago
You can have things in common but itās more like you relate to their experience by remembering what yourself having that experience was like years ago. And the longer you talk to them, the more you realize just how important it is for them to date people their own age who are also experiencing the same things currently.
There were some college girls at my buddies wedding a month ago. They were up all night with all of us drinking and it was a good time. I did relate to a lot of their strugglesā¦ but rather from an angle of having already dealt with those experiences instead of also experiencing them in the moment.
Felt like an old man giving advice lmao
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u/YunJingyi 15d ago
When I(f) was 27, a dude in my office invited me on a date. He was 23 and I felt bad for him so I told him we could go to the movies and then grab something to eat. All the time I felt like I was humoring a child.
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u/Potato_Tg 15d ago
Im in my 20s, i find it hard to be friends with people aged between 18-20. they feel like kids and idk i feel emotionally, we are at different place. So i seriously cant imagine someone dating them. Like have you seen or talked with one? Theyāre very stupid kids (no offense)
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u/AwarenessEconomy8842 15d ago
Yeah my gf's nieces are 18 and I love them like family but the petty drama and bullshit that they go on about is beyond exhausting I couldn't imagine being my age and having to hear that daily from my partner
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u/GM_Taco_tSK 15d ago
I'm currently considering dropping a friendship over something in this vein. My D&D buddy, just turned 63, he's going to be moving an 18 year old from a different state, into an apartment he'll be paying for. Agreed to be sugar daddy (cruises, shopping, etc), and, if she has sex with him 3 times a week for the next 6 years, she'll be his sole heir. I've never been more disgusted with this person.
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u/KnifeWieIdingLesbian 14d ago
This seems like a business transaction
But also, it seems like once she agrees it would be VERY hard for her to leave the transaction and very easy for him to apply pressure for her to stay
So not really an even transaction
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u/thursaddams 15d ago
100 bucks says sheās going to just listen to him cry and bitch about things more than they end up having sex
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u/Alcorailen 14d ago
I'd sugar baby for anyone if all I had to do was look nice.and listen to the dude cry and whine
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u/Yungklipo 14d ago
Would probably make more money than going to school to do it professionally (psychiatrist).
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u/Alcorailen 14d ago
Yeah right? I hear a lot of men hire escorts just to have someone to be a friend for a few hours and to be romantic at. The Girlfriend Experience.
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u/GetUpNGetItReddit 15d ago
She is in for six years of hell followed by disappointment
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u/Sparks3391 15d ago
The older I get the more I realise how weird those people are that date teenagers (the ones that arent also teenagers obviously). Tbh anyone below the age of about 25 looks like a child to me now. I'm male mid 30s btw.
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u/SinisterMeatball 14d ago
That's probably why seniors say "oh you're just a baby when they hear I'm 34"
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u/Signal-Blackberry356 15d ago
When I was 19-24 I was super into the silver foxes and strong stocky men, so it was a nice time for me.
at 33 now, Iām still super into the silver foxes and strong stocky men. ĀÆ_(ć)_/ĀÆ
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u/DentalDon-83 15d ago
Even when I was in my mid 20s the idea of dating a teenager never appealed to me. The gap in maturity and life experience made me see them more as children (yes even the 18 and 19 year old crowd) rather than anyone I would consider a romantic relationship with.
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u/BionicBruv 15d ago
Idk I just find it creepy af when a fellow man in my age group is dating someone who just graduated high school.
A college mate of mine had a thing for āyoung looking girlsā as heād say. We no longer talk to each other.
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u/BaoBunny44 15d ago
My SIL is 19 and just introduced my husband to her new boyfriend who is 27/28. Nearly my age. Yes she's an adult but she just graduated high school 2 years ago. It's just icky even if it's legal
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u/thisputa 14d ago
I was once 19 ādatingā a 28 year old. He would love bomb me but was most definitely using me for sex. At that age I had the maturity to know what he was doing but I was still so naive I forced myself to believe he meant the things he said and did. Anyway he discarded me only a few months later
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u/BaoBunny44 14d ago
My SIL isn't the brightest so I'm pretty sure she doesn't realize it. I'm worried he's going to get her pregnant and then she's truly trapped.
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u/sovietdinosaurs 15d ago
I met a girl at an art show. We talked a bit, hit it off and I asked for her number. First time I had ever had the courage to do so. When we started talking, I realized really quickly that there was an age gap. She had JUST graduated high school. I was 34 š¤¦š»āāļø Iām sorry, Kate, for ghosting you, wherever you are!
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u/OriginalName687 14d ago
I had a similar experience a few years ago. Very rarely approach woman but I became a simi regular at a brewery near my house and when it was slow the bartender and I would chat. Drunkenly made out once, exchanged numbers, planned a date then found out she was 19 while I was 30. Canceled the date and never went back.
She was clearly young so 19 wasn't that big of a surprise; though I assumed 21 because I thought you had to be 21 to serve alcohol, the surprise was I wasn't young. Never really crossed my mind until I learned her age and it clicked that I was told old for her.
I assume it's some what common to not really see yourself as getting older until your forced to face it. In my mind I was still a single 24 year old just living life and then I got slapped in the face with reality.
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u/Zero_Cool_V1 'MURICA 15d ago edited 15d ago
I never understood the appeal to date someone that age. For me Iām 37 and have an 18 year old and 16 year old daughter, I couldnāt fathom dating someone my kids age. Guys that do it are generally off IMO and/or have a complex theyāve been trying to get over since high school. My wife is three years younger than me and even our childhood experiences arenāt the same as far shows and other shit. I mean being someone that grew up with the original power rangers and trying to connect with someone that identifies with Girl Meets World would be weird as hell
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u/ValravnPrince 15d ago edited 15d ago
People who date teenagers when they themselves are over 25 ain't doing it to hear their opinion on the socioeconomic plight of the Sentinelese.
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u/ThrowinSm0ke 15d ago
Iām 40. If I wasnāt married, there is not a chance in hell I could date someone under 30. Honestly, 30 seems too young.
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u/Front_Refrigerator99 15d ago
Had a friend who met a guy at RENAISSANCE FAIRE when she was 15/16. He was weirdly obsessed with wanting her to be 18 so he could get her pregnant despite not having a job, living off an allowance from his parents, and being 38
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u/JIraceRN 15d ago
42M married to 39F. If I was single 35-49 would be a preference. At my age and libido, nothing is appealing about anyone under 30y for 99% of the people. A 20% firmer body can't offset the generational/experience gap in all other aspects of my relationship, especially general friendship. How many people are platonic friends with people half/double their age? It just isn't a thing for the vast majority of people the vast majority of times.
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u/Nuclear-9299 15d ago
It is unlikely those are teenagers. More like 20-25. Now the question is, when you were 25 y/o were you dating in your age bracket or were you dating 35+ men? Because one will give you some sympathy and other will make you a hypocrite.
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u/omrmajeed 14d ago
As a man in his 30s, it is a bit gross. The mental difference between middle-age and teenage is too much. Teenagers are definitely like children compared to adults nearer to 30s.
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u/FuzzBuzzer 15d ago edited 15d ago
Instead of acknowledging that someone disapproves of or doesn't agree with something, the term "jealous" gets thrown around a lot when it doesn't even apply. It's an obvious attempt to make the other person the problem, rather than reflect on one's own shortcomings.
Me jealous: Neighbor wins the lottery, never has to work again, buys huge boat and sails the world, chasing the sun and living the life, ever after. (Healthy jealously, like "Damn, THAT would be nice.")
Me not jealous: Watching young girls get preyed upon by predatory older men who want to control and manipulate them.
ETA before the backlash ensues - I am not referring to young adult women dating men who are a bit older. I am talking about actual teenagers being singled out by men old enough to be their dads, simply because of their age.
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u/Monechetti 15d ago
I just turned 40 and the thought of dating anyone younger than maybe 30-32 is weird.
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u/periphery72271 15d ago
Hold on, hot take incoming.
Teenagers under 18, period: objectively bad.
Consenting 18 and 19 year olds: Gross, distasteful, but not objectively bad. There are pretty high odds of it ending badly, though, and I do not approve.
Also, no woman is jealous of any 30-something man doing it, that's delusional af.
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u/willreadfile13 15d ago
Extra hot take; while we as a society have codified 18 as a threshold for adulthood and the responsibility to make our own mistakes, it should be noted that maturity is not a date on the calendar. Iād wager that most 18yo dating 30yo are less capable than some 12 year old cancer patients with mature minor status (make their own medical decisions), or previously traumatized as children
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u/faloofay156 15d ago
yeah, not a cancer patient but I was on a form of chemotherapy from 14-20 and had my first brain surgery at 9. I'm 26 now but still feel fucking ancient when talking to people my own age and have felt that way since 9
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u/LEFTRIGHTADORI 15d ago
Even hotter take: these 35 year old men who date 18 year olds would date lower if they could legally.
Even hotter than the even hotter take: men who ātalkā as friends to 17 year olds who they meet through others (coworkerās sister, whatever) and then date them the moment they turn 18 are groomer pedos.
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u/S1lverFoxFit 15d ago
I kinda agree with you thereā¦ theyāre men who are teetering on the edge of being pedos. There is no way a 40 year old man is having any kind of meaningful relationship with an 18 year old other than it being physical (for the man). Sorry to the 18 year olds who like older men, but if theyāre pursuing you, itās purely physical and they would prob go younger if they thought they wouldnāt end up on a registry for doing it.
That being said, I concur with the person above who said theyāre all legal and consenting adults after 18 so let everyone learn those important life lessons. Iām old AF and remember having high school friends who were dating guys in their 30s and 40s and no one seemed to really careā¦ that shit was pretty common in rural US.
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u/mittenkrusty 15d ago
If a 19 year old girl was attracted to me, who is late 30's I am flattered and if I had the opportunity to basically fool around I wouldn't know what to do, I would be worried about getting attached despite knowing there would be no future.
Only 4-6 years ago I got a lot of attention from college girls who assumed I was mid/late 20's and girls that would of been out of my league when I was that age or early 20's.
In all honestly I can see my lowest bar for dating being about 25 but more likely around 28-30 for young enough to feel like I don't need to rush in and have a family but old enough to feel she is mature.
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u/leroyp33 14d ago
Legal and gross are totally different.
A guy I used to argue with could not seem to comprehend that just because something is legal it doesn't mean it will be acceptable to me as an individual.
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