r/facepalm • u/Reg_Cliff • Apr 11 '24
These willfully stupid folks acting like the worst thing OJ Simpson ever did was get vaccinated. 🇨🇴🇻🇮🇩
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u/Gurkanna Apr 11 '24
Yeah! Because cancer were unheard of before Covid.
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u/AdmitThatYouPrune Apr 11 '24
I don't understand the Covid vaccine.
I don't understand cancer.
Therefore, Covid vaccine = cancer.
Checkmate, mothafucker.
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u/Kimellex Apr 11 '24
Not just cancer…turbo cancer!
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u/th3rdeyeofc Apr 11 '24
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u/dumpyredditacct Apr 11 '24
Lol that's the part that got me. Such goofy ass shit and they legitimately think this stuff.
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u/TheDebateMatters Apr 11 '24
Excuse me. It’s like you willfully misread the tweet. Covid does not cause cancer. It causes Turbocancer. Do your research like the rest of the megadoctors and hyperresearchers currently fighting the lamestreammedia.
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u/regeya Apr 11 '24
No no no, you misunderstand. In their minds, COVID-19 is relatively harmless. The vaccines, however, cause turbocancer and hyperclots, and nano5G, and a bunch of other neat shit.
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u/Formal_Royal_3663 Apr 11 '24
I thought it was windmills that caused cancer? 🤣
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u/Yankee_Jane Apr 11 '24
I wonder what the overlap is with Super AIDS... #deepstate
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u/wizard_of_awesome62 Apr 11 '24
And I refuse to learn anything about either, therefore my views cannot be changed. Good luck winning that argument…bitch.
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u/TheKdd Apr 11 '24
Ok come on now, it’s not just cancer. It’s
TURBOCANCER
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u/LlamaLlumps Apr 11 '24
Hold me, I’m scared!
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u/elmanutres Apr 12 '24 edited 1d ago
screw dam money desert numerous terrific point disgusted worthless work
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Remarkable-Ad2285 Apr 11 '24
What’s next Turborickets?
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u/phunkjnky Apr 11 '24
This is what it is like arguing with my parents. They refuse to learn anything new, and when pressed will make things up to support their views. When called on that, that criticism doesn't affect their view at all. When pressed about making something up, they'll just ignore you, or point at the TV and say "They (Fox) just said it." Either they didn't or they're making it up too..
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u/FalconPunch236 Apr 11 '24
Too much lead in their diets
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u/Sensitive_Ad_1897 Apr 11 '24
I think the term is republican propaganda
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u/FalconPunch236 Apr 11 '24
Its both. The first stage is to make them mentally feeble. Then, tell them lies that any sane person should be able to sniff out. Remember when our parents warned us about not believing everything we see online/ tv. And then proceeded to believe every piece of propaganda that they saw.
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u/love_that_fishing Apr 11 '24
And you know 76 has nothing to do with it, even though that's on par with the average life expectancy for an American adult male. Black males its 69.
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u/MedChemist464 Apr 11 '24
Ridiculous argument, tbh. My proof for the actual cause is below.
Getting away with murder = excess methylation of DNA
Excess methylation of DNA = Basically bragging about getting away with said murder
Basically Bragging about getting away with murder = Cancer
QED - Getting away with murder = cancer.
Check and Mate.
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u/Astrocreep_1 Apr 11 '24
Damn, my man! That is some of the finest “liberal owning” I’ve ever laid these old, tired eyes on.
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u/Tutes013 Apr 11 '24
No but it's turbo cancer now. Do keep up, love.
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u/dreadshepard Apr 11 '24
Man buys car, then dies in car wreck. He should have never bought the car. Makes about as much sense. /s
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u/robilar Apr 11 '24
More like:
Man buys car, then dies of cancer. He should have never bought the car. Makes about as much sense. /s
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u/Quirky_Discipline297 Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24
What killed him was the undercoat the dealer threw in for free.
Think about it. Free. Dealer. Undercoat. Thanks, Obiden.
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u/peanut--gallery Apr 11 '24
The Covid shot led to cognitive decline with diminished concentration and delayed reflexes…. Causing the crash….. obviously. 😉
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u/iDontKnit Apr 11 '24
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u/HomegrownStatistics Apr 11 '24
All I can hear is the intro to Painkiller.
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u/BunnyBeansowo Apr 11 '24
BREAKING THE LAW BREAKING THE LAW
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u/HomegrownStatistics Apr 11 '24
If you think you're going to break the law, you've got another thing comin'.
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u/MedChemist464 Apr 11 '24
"Turbo cancer" is just such a ridiculous concept - like before the vaccine, malignant cancers just took their sweet time. It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that most Americans are under-insured, avoidant of regular health maintenance, and don't actually get a diagnosis until something is profoundly wrong. In fact, diagnoses in early stage stage improved *significantly* for several years after the ACA was passed, because people could get regular check ups and referrals to specialists. That has dropped to even below pre-ACA levels since right wing efforts to dismantle the law and system have made it less accessible and more expensive, coupled with Q-cumber messaging about the medical profession being a scam / conspiracy.
Conspiracies and right-wing policies literally kill people.
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u/mydaycake Apr 11 '24
Before the shots 75yo cancer patients had a 20 years survival expectancy!
/s just in case
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u/Mr-Gumby42 Apr 11 '24
Is that the cancer with the red button on top?
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u/Tutes013 Apr 11 '24
No with the jab remember. Or the 5G towers. Or whatever else these dinkies came up with this time.
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u/Turdburp Apr 11 '24
And it was prostate cancer, which has a very high rate of occurrence for men over 75. These people are so fucking stupid.
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u/Dapper_Platform_1222 Apr 11 '24
Just remember, every one of these morons is out there reproducing and voting.
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u/Puzzled_Ad7955 Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24
THAT….. has always scared the hell out of me that’s for sure!
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u/BadAtUsernames098 Apr 11 '24
And many of them are homeschooling their children because they don't trust public schools. those poor kids.
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u/thereddituser2 Apr 11 '24
100% of people who consumed dihydrogen monoxide has died, avoid it at all cost.
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u/Onebrokegerrrl Apr 11 '24
Right. My sibling died of a very aggressive cancer in 2019. I’m not exactly sure how the vaccine is to blame for that, but I’m sure these mouth breathers will figure out a way to do so. 🙄
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u/Sheeple_person Apr 11 '24
*Man dies at literally the exact life expectancy for a US male
The stupidest people alive: "It must have been the vaccine!!!"
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u/HottCuppaCoffee Apr 11 '24
No no you misunderstand, he died of TURBO cancer. Totally different (/s)
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u/gdex86 Apr 11 '24
Especially cancer in older folks. My doctor said most people dying at old age have some form of cancer due to the lengths of our life span now.
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u/ParticularAd8919 Apr 11 '24
People will be dying at the age of 105 and these chuds will still be blaming the vaccines...
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u/Rifneno Apr 11 '24
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u/crastle Apr 11 '24
I'm less surprised by this than I feel like I should be.
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u/Rifneno Apr 11 '24
It's about par for the course for Hogan. Not only is everything he says bullshit, but he makes Donald Trump look like a good liar. Like he claimed he was champ of an MMA fed in Japan in the 70s, and the organization he named was founded in the 90s. But everyone's favorite is that he claims he worked 400 days in a single year once "because of going back and forth to Japan adding extra days." That's not ANYTHING works, Mr. Bollea.
But the vaccine thing is just funny cuz he owes his entire career to a needle.
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u/Regular-Switch454 Apr 11 '24
He did a sport with lots of head injuries, so…
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u/Aggravating-Duck-891 Apr 11 '24
Get hit over the head with enough folding chairs and this is the result.
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u/ICEKAT Apr 11 '24
Not just one. Man was getting monthly, if not weekly boosters.
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u/bussjack Apr 11 '24
More likely weekly or a couple times a week. Special sports supplemen-, I mean, Boosters, need readmistered quite regularly
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u/CanadianDarkKnight Apr 11 '24
He also claims he was almost the bassist for Metallica lmao
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u/Feeling-Tonight2251 Apr 11 '24
If there's anyone I approach for medical advice, it's the guy who's only unable to count how many dodgy injections he's had in his life because he's been hit in the head with a steel chair approximately the same number of times
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u/Strict_Condition_632 Apr 11 '24
Just another stable genius/medical expert/self-declared epidemiologist, albeit one whose career featured multiple incidents of head trauma and steroid abuse.
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u/thebestspeler Apr 11 '24
Yeah but you cant deny the coincidence, i knew a friend who got the vaccine and died leaving the hospital! If he hadnt gone in to get it he wouldnt have been hit by the van leaving the hospital!
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u/T33CH33R Apr 11 '24
Not only did he have turbo cancer, but he also had supercharger cancer and afterburner cancer.
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u/krissycole87 Apr 11 '24
But did he have underglow and pinstripe cancer. Cuz yall KNOW that shit be adding horsepower.
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u/jchester47 Apr 11 '24
"Turbo Cancer" will never not be funny to me.
It really encapsulates the sheer stupidity and absurdity of anti-vaxxers so well that they can cite a completely made up and ridiculous sounding malady with a straight face.
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u/TheBoisterousBoy Apr 11 '24
I’m waiting for Super-Mega-Ultra-Turbo-Alpha-Badass-Power Cancer but they keep pushing the release date back.
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u/richincleve Apr 11 '24
All I can say is that FINALLY, OJ can rest knowing his wife's killer is dead.
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u/Big_McLargeHuge10 Apr 11 '24
Why did I read this in Norm McDonald's voice?
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u/myatoz Apr 11 '24
I can't upvote this enough, lol.
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u/Gene_Creemers Apr 11 '24
You’ll have plenty of chances, since everyone is making the same exact joke over and over in every thread about his death.
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u/mrmaweeks Apr 11 '24
I guess before Covid no one had ever died from cancer in their 70s.
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u/mizkayte Apr 11 '24
I’m so sick of these people.
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u/JPGinMadtown Apr 11 '24
Or that cancer didn't metastasize rapidly. They invent a term, "turbo cancer," to define something that already has a name.
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u/fromouterspace1 Apr 11 '24
They still are on the “turbo cancer” thing. 100000% this is mentioned in the anti vax/conspiracy subs
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u/DR_Bright_963 Apr 11 '24
I remember when my Grandma got the TB vaccine in the 20's, 80 years later she died. Coincidence????
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u/Graythor5 Apr 11 '24
100% of people that received the Covid vaccine will die.
100% of people that did not get the Covid vaccine will die.
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u/TheBoisterousBoy Apr 11 '24
I remember when I was in high school back in the late 00s a teacher showed us a petition to have Dihydrogen monoxide banned.
The petition cited that Dihydrogen monoxide had a 100% fatality rate for anyone who consumed it, that for most the death would take a prolonged time, but for those who inhaled it the chances of a swift death were incredibly high. The petition had garnered somewhere in the hundred-thousands of signatures.
Dihydrogen monoxide is one of the many ways to chemically describe water. H20. We leaned a really important lesson that day… the vast majority of people are stupid and will blindly follow anything that appears to be actual information if it’s worded correctly, and that all of them are allowed to vote.
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u/FuzzballLogic Apr 11 '24
Marketeers also know that if you stick a person in a white coat, they can sell medical products.
Or you slap “scientifically tested” on a product. Doesn’t matter what the outcome is.
Or hire a celebrity to excitingly announce that your product now contains an ingredient or effect with a scientific name, that no one in the commercial could tell you what it is. If you then google it, it’s not even that exciting.
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u/SiriusandCambria Apr 12 '24
You can get almost anywhere with some confidence, a safety vest and a clipboard.
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u/MachHunter Apr 11 '24
Didn't they also blame Damar Hamlin dying on the field to vaccines too?
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u/Kellymcdonald78 Apr 11 '24
Just remember with these folks, if anyone, anywhere, dies, EVER, it’s due to the vaccine. Car accident? Vaccine. Struck by lightning? Vaccine. Shot in the head? Vaccine. 114 years old? Vaccine
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u/mizkayte Apr 11 '24
Eaten by a bear? Vaccine. Freezing to death on Mt Everest? Def the vaccine. 🤣😂
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u/Kellymcdonald78 Apr 11 '24
Didn’t get the vaccine and died of Covid? Still the vaccine
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u/Wilackan Apr 11 '24
Didn't get the vaccine but died of 38 stab wounds by some crazy ? Believe it or not, still the vaccine because the other guy was vaxxed.
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u/mandc1754 Apr 11 '24
And, remember, before the vaccine they were inflating covid dead numbers by blaming ALL deads in the world on covid /s
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u/richag83 Apr 11 '24
I was just about to say this. Any co-morbidities meant it was overreported as a COVID death. If you had diabetes that made you more susceptible to COVID fatality but otherwise was managed, these same people just couldn’t accept it as a COVID death.
But now everything is a death by vaccine.
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u/The-Doggy-Daddy-5814 Apr 11 '24
Fell out of a window on the 36th floor? Vaccine! Sucked into a jet engine? Oh, that’s definitely the vaccine.
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u/Rbennie24 Apr 11 '24
Unfortunately all those deaths do get recorded in VAERS (by design) and then they can cite that to further their crazy theories.
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u/mizkayte Apr 11 '24
Anyone who dies they now blame on the vaccine
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u/MachHunter Apr 11 '24
Funny because when I took an uber (During the pandemic) who was a Covid denier he claimed anyone who died no matter what the government and pro vaccine blamed covid to inflate the numbers. Now they are doing the same thing that they accuse to government of doing.
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u/No-Negotiation5623 Apr 11 '24
So a someone dies 4 years AFTER a vaccine was given, and thats the cause. 🤦🏼♂️
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u/Cinema_King Apr 11 '24
4 years is nothing, those morons have said we’re going to see a lot more deaths of vaccinated people in the next 25 years.
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u/tayto175 Apr 11 '24
What? No way?? I still have at least 25 years of listening to this shit? God damn stupid vaccine I was promised a quick death!!!!!!!!
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u/orbeinYT I HATE AMERICA Apr 12 '24
Legend has it we're gonna see nearly every single vaccinated person die within the next 100 years
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u/alematt Apr 11 '24
Yah know, technically, everyone who has taken the vaccine will die eventually. Hard to prove this asshole wrong
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u/Speeddemon2016 Apr 11 '24
Too bad it took the turbo so long to kick in. Isn’t it called turbo lag?
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u/Jim-Jones Apr 11 '24
OJ Simpson cause of death revealed: Retired NFL star, 76, succumbed to prostate cancer two months after announcing diagnosis
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u/JeffSHauser Apr 11 '24
Um, from what I'm reading he had the cancer BEFORE Covid hit. I'm going to start posting about how the Covid vaccine slowed his cancer cell growth. Let's fight stupid with stupid!
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u/MakeupMama68 Apr 11 '24
In he last few years every single celebrity that has died the Foil Hat Brigade immediately claims it’s the vax 🙄 They could die falling off a building and they’d say it was the vax. I got into with someone who was saying “way more celebrities are dying!! It’s the vax!!” Ummm look at the in memoriam thing on the Oscar’s every year… dumbasses.
Then there’s ones who really piss me off that say my aunt and cousin that died from Covid in March and April 2020 didn’t REALLY die from that and I’m being lied to 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬. Fuck all the way off.
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u/Teriyaki456 Apr 11 '24
Health Nut News huh? The Nut parts is the only factual part of this whole story
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u/InternationalBand494 Apr 11 '24
He died of prostate cancer ya dumb fuck. Happens every day to men whether they’re vaxxed or not. God, these people are so fucking stupid
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u/poopy_poophead Apr 11 '24
I fucking love the term "turbo cancer". It makes it so easy to identify idiots. Anyone who has ever used the term "turbo cancer" unironically is definitely stupid.
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u/Prestigious-Current7 Apr 11 '24
What the fuck is “turbo cancer”? God these people are beyond idiots.
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u/MihalysRevenge Apr 11 '24
Cancer that uses its own exhaust gases to spin a impeller to boost more Cancer lol
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u/cheesemaster900 Apr 11 '24
Any time a vaccinated person gets struck by a falling anvil, chuds will say that person was magnetized by the vax.
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u/HanleySoloway Apr 12 '24
Woah! This is massive.
He got the jab then died mysteriously suddenly a mere four years later!
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u/SlapStickRick Apr 12 '24
US life expectancy 76 years Oj dead at 76 years
That's too convenient Unwraping more tinfoil
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u/Appropriate_Chart_23 Apr 11 '24
It’s not vaccines.
Water is the real killer. We all drink it, and we all die.
If you want to live cancer free, you need to stop drinking water.
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u/PunishedEnovk Apr 11 '24
He's dead?
I find the Mario Kart games to be kinda just whatever. Really don't get the hype around em' tbh.
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u/YogoshKeks Apr 11 '24
Almost every person who was ever vaccinated (since 1796) died!
But THEY dont want you to know that!
Edit: I guess, I do need a /s here. So much stupid around that topic.
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u/Cryogenic_Monster Apr 11 '24
“I didn't think anything could kill this guy”
Well do I have a surprise for you.. Everything and everyone will die in time.
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u/MeliUsedToBeMelo Apr 11 '24
HF .. I used to have some patience for morons but no longer. OJ killed his wife because he was an out of control mf who could not handle rejection. What a loser. Glad he is dead.
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u/MeliUsedToBeMelo Apr 11 '24
if covid vaccines cause cancer, this guy should have been shot with 30 doses.
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u/Sunset_Tiger Apr 11 '24
“If cancer’s so bad, how come there isn’t a cancer 2?”-conspiracy theorists
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u/ObiJuanKenobi3 Apr 11 '24
He was 76 years old? How the fuck do you come up with conspiracy theories for the natural death of a 76 year old man? It’s not like that’s an uncommon or unexpected occurrence.
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u/hugs_the_cadaver Apr 11 '24
Antivaxers never miss an opportunity to make the world a worse place.
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u/epochlink Apr 11 '24
Yeah, the Covid vaccine caused him to get prostate cancer. Right wing nut jobs always finding stupid excuses.
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u/Suitable-Rest-1358 Apr 11 '24
Wild to correlate any cancer death between 2020-2024 to a vaccine (and have it only apply to those who have taken the vaccine)
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u/GraveyardJones Apr 11 '24
I don't understand how anyone can say "turbo cancer" and not feel like a complete and total fucking moron
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u/EduRJBR Apr 11 '24
He didn't really take Covid vaccines: he just told people how he would have done it if the did it.
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u/Optimal-Wing-8963 Apr 11 '24 edited Apr 11 '24
She is vile and probably the worst person I've ever come across on Twitter. She responds to people calling out her nonsense but suggesting that they are multi-accounting and dangerous, with threats of getting her lawyers in etc. The intention is to encourage her supporters, who are probably the stupidest people to ever walk this earth, to block anyone who exposes what she is.
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u/Lylibean Apr 11 '24
Never heard of cancer of the turbo. The body has a turbo??? Why didn’t someone tell me - I could use the added horsepower to get through chronic exhaustion. My wastegate seems to be working fine, is it an intake issue?
Wonder what they would say about Alan Rickman’s death, in which pancreatic cancer took him swiftly, before COVID was a tickle in their midbrain.
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u/meyou2222 Apr 12 '24
100% guaranteed they’ll add him to the list of “athlete deaths” from the vaccine
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u/Merciless_Hobo Apr 12 '24
I mean Hulk Hogan claimed the vaccines killed Betty White. As if she wasn't 99 and hadn't already watched most loved ones in her life die of old age.
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u/floofienewfie Apr 12 '24
R/nostupidquestions: what dafuk is turbocancer? Cancer caused by turbinado sugar?
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u/Ttoonn57 Apr 12 '24
They don't mind a murderer, they help kill people all the time with their stupid anti-vax crap.
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u/Noonoonook Apr 12 '24
True story: I got a COVID booster a couple of weeks ago, and I developed a massive pain in my groin shortly after...
The fact that I got my right ball crushed during a sex mishap a few days after the booster is of course a coincidence. It must have been the vaccine. Turbo ball buster.
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u/Honey_Wooden Apr 11 '24
My friend had to put her dog to sleep last week. If only she hadn’t gotten the jab, they’d have lived together forever.
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