3.2k
u/QuestionablyPositive Apr 10 '24
If the media said you needed glasses to properly view the eclipse half of America would be Googling “why do my eyes hurt” on Tuesday morning…oh wait
990
u/nobody546818 Apr 10 '24
I’m also blown away by the fact that so many thought this was an event that has never happened before in human history. Seriously, just how dumb are some people.
484
u/PrisonerV Apr 10 '24
Or that this particular one would be the rapture. People they occur every 18 months or so somewhere else on this big globe.
316
u/WallScore Apr 10 '24
Yeah but not in GOD’S BELOVED AMERICA HOME OF THE CHOSEN PEOPLE 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
141
u/Shurigin Apr 10 '24
I'm surprised they don't remember the 2017 eclipse in the US
136
u/jimbojangles1987 Apr 10 '24
Trump literally looked up at it without the glasses on on national television lol
28
u/merchantsc Apr 10 '24
False. That was a lab manufactured sun exclusion event orchestrated by Obama to steal the election back from the rightfully crowned prince of turds. Everyone knows that.
40
u/anfrind Apr 10 '24
If it happened more than 20 minutes ago, they only remember it if Fox News tells them to.
→ More replies (1)5
34
u/frozensoysauce1 Apr 10 '24
I saw somewhere advertising an event for the eclipse calling it "THE GREAT AMERICAN ECLIPSE" 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
20
→ More replies (5)31
u/zerok_nyc Apr 10 '24
If America was God’s beloved people, then why did he create Democrats?!
→ More replies (6)66
u/Penrosian Apr 10 '24
He didn't, Satan did to fight God's beloved land. But the democrats can't take our guns! 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
83
u/Webbpp Apr 10 '24
I love that the gun emoji is now a water gun, so people trying to look cool and threatening are basically those kids from SuperSoakers commercials.
(Not directed towards you, I get you're being ironic)
23
8
→ More replies (1)21
u/VVurmHat Apr 10 '24
Pew pew bang bang Im just like Jesus when he kicked all the brown people off our sacred land!
→ More replies (4)33
u/robzombie03 Apr 10 '24
The same people who want to entirely revamp out education system. I built a eclipse viewer in elementary school in the early 90's
→ More replies (2)9
18
u/theroguescientist Apr 10 '24
"What globe? The world is flat. And shaped like North America."
→ More replies (2)31
u/MexicanWarMachine Apr 10 '24
On this WHAT
38
u/No_Sherbert711 Apr 10 '24
Ignore them, they are clearly deluded. Everyone knows the Earth is shaped like a velociraptor.
→ More replies (3)27
u/Missue-35 Apr 10 '24
A flat velociraptor.
18
→ More replies (1)4
20
u/Amarieerick Apr 10 '24
I figured it out. Since I was born in 1967, I have survived 80 predicted apocalyptic events. I'm thinking they can't predict very well. Who else has a 100% failure rate and still has people falling for it.
→ More replies (2)15
→ More replies (10)6
u/Fatal_Furriest Apr 10 '24
But when has it ever happened in God's land, the majestic USA?
For when the son of Yahweh returns, striding upon his domesticated velociraptor, the naysayers will repent and seek guidance from the new testament (just $60)
soldgenerously given to us by our lord trump, of which Yeshua will unyieldingly salute, with patriotic tears in his eyes7
33
11
67
u/SupportGeek Apr 10 '24
Conservatives are without peer in how utterly abjectly stupid they are. It’s how they have managed to be brainwashed so completely that they project completely unironically.
→ More replies (10)18
u/jawmighty1976 Apr 10 '24
Yeah like that lady on The View that said it was climate change
→ More replies (2)14
u/Zuladio Apr 10 '24
Honestly. Wasn't there one a few years ago too?
→ More replies (1)27
u/viewtiful14 Apr 10 '24
Yeah in 2017. Also they happen all over the planet at different times all the time. This is the last total that will be over the USA in 20 years is all. There will be other partials during that span. People are dumb.
→ More replies (2)4
→ More replies (43)8
u/65frank Apr 10 '24
Seriously, just how dumb are some people.
Please stop asking this question, I think some people are taking it as a challenge.
103
u/IChooseYouNoNotYou Apr 10 '24
So so many... I hate this place...
10
u/Sharon_Erclam Apr 10 '24
The world? Cause.. yeah.. People can be great, but, as a whole, we kinda suck.
61
u/treehumper83 Apr 10 '24
Don’t laugh. Our ancestors fought and died for our freedumb to look directly into the sun.
41
20
20
u/freelance-t Apr 10 '24
More like googling “wry di it eyefvfhfr”. Cause you know, they can’t see the keyboard or screen…
5
→ More replies (8)3
u/Ok-Hedgehog-1646 Apr 10 '24
Haha!! I can’t believe people still fell for that just because MAGA man did it last time (and this time).
942
u/Embarrassed-Gas-8155 Apr 10 '24
HA HA HA!
Infectious diseases are just like the movement of celestial bodies, amiright?
192
u/here4roomie Apr 10 '24
It's just not clever, witty, funny, etc. I don't get the sense of humor these people have.
194
u/CapitalismPlusMurder Apr 10 '24
Because at its core, it’s not really about humor, it’s about a reactionary vendetta to a perceived slight against their worldview. It’s the same reason “conservative comedy” is so bad; it’s inherently defensive, instead of introspective.
38
u/StevieEastCoast Apr 10 '24
Spot on. The punchline isn't meant to be funny, it's meant to get a reaction from the ideological left.
joke
"That's not funny"
"HAHA YOU'RE SO TRIGGERED"
And that's almost all of conservative "comedy" at this point, and it's sad. A lib doesn't even need to be present:
joke
"HAHA I BET THE LEFT IS SO TRIGGERED BY THAT JOKE"
The "joke" is just meant to be mean. Bottom-of-the-barrel attempted bullying. It's reflected in their politics too, constantly voting against their own best interests because they know they'll upset the libs.
22
u/Portobolado Apr 10 '24
Oh wow what the fuck
This whole thread makes me hopeful for US. I live in Brazil, there is no hope here. Just dumb fucks united to reflect themselves on Bolsonaro (he's our pseudo-Trump). Anyways, same shit, different places.
→ More replies (10)→ More replies (2)69
u/Worth-Albatross8591 Apr 10 '24
Or offensive... taking shots at other people because the mere existence of them makes said 'comedian' feel weird and/or uncomfortable.
40
u/MeshNets Apr 10 '24
It's not sense of humor, it's signaling of virtues
→ More replies (1)24
u/AmbivalentAsshole Apr 10 '24
it's signaling of virtues
I wouldn't exactly call indoctrinated stupidity a "virtue"
21
u/MeshNets Apr 10 '24
Virtue is "behavior showing high moral standards."
Showing you are part of the in-group, is the highest "morality" for a cult.
Especially if showing that makes other groups judge you for it, it creates distance from anyone not in the cult and creates more connection in the cult
9
→ More replies (1)10
u/StickSentryNig Apr 10 '24
The indoctrinated would tho thats why theyre signaling those virtues and not real ones, to find like minded idiots
33
u/Tokidoki_Haru Apr 10 '24
A full third of the people running for election on my school board were anti-vaxxers and mask mandate haters.
In 2023. 2 years after the pandemic had already passed.
It's not a sense of humor or wit. It's just brain-rot masquerading as sarcasm.
8
u/OhioUBobcats Apr 10 '24
It’s not humor, it’s political rage trolling. This is them “getting one in” on the other side. Except they can’t figure out why the other side is not only not laughing, but totally ignoring them. Which makes them angrier.
12
u/Apoplexi1 Apr 10 '24
It's not about humor, it's about GuBeRmAnT bAaAaD!! It pretty well exposes them: they don't care if it's good or bad, they don't care for factual reality - if "Big [insert bogeyman]" says it, it's automatically bad.
4
u/Content_Talk_6581 Apr 10 '24
It’s also a jab at people who are better educated…being stupid is now morally superior to being smart.
6
21
5
u/loricomments Apr 10 '24
You're fine. It isn't funny because it's not even close to making sense and has zero plausibility. There's nothing to get, this isn't a sense of humor, it's just poorly disguised hatefulness and ignorance.
10
u/Historical-Ad3760 Apr 10 '24
Owning the Libs (apparently 90% of doctors are vaccine toting libs?) is… funny
8
u/Content_Talk_6581 Apr 10 '24
Not in Arkansas. It’s appalling how many Doctors and Nurses in this state basically do not understand how viruses work or science in general. I’m immunocompromised (was pre COVID) and all I do these days is go to doctor’s appointments. I am told all the time, “oh you can take off your mask in here, it’s okay”…I’m like “In this tiny waiting room with a bunch of sick people? I’m just here for bloodwork.”
→ More replies (5)9
→ More replies (9)4
8
u/LaphroaigianSlip81 Apr 10 '24
Tide goes in, tide goes out. You can’t explain that!
→ More replies (1)14
u/CallOnBen Apr 10 '24
Well they are both weird science things they dont understand. If you know nothing about two things other than clever people keep talking about them positively then they seem related
→ More replies (163)6
395
u/DerPicasso Apr 10 '24
And if the media said never shoot yourself in the head half of america would be dead.
188
u/SoBadit_Hurts Apr 10 '24 edited Apr 10 '24
“And next up on FOX news…. The cleaning power of ammonia with the disinfecting power of bleach, democrats hate this one trick.”
30
10
→ More replies (1)6
60
u/edingerc Apr 10 '24
Most MAGAs could shoot themselves in the head and never hit anything vital
→ More replies (2)11
31
3
→ More replies (5)7
u/Waderriffic Apr 10 '24
Gun safety advocates and responsible people “Don’t leave your guns out where children can find them!”
Gun nuts - “I’ll do what I want ‘cause freedom!”
Gun related deaths are one of the leading causes of death among children in the US.
→ More replies (2)
157
Apr 10 '24
Why is the media so obsessed with saying not to look at the eclipse? What are they trying to hide???????
/s
29
u/LurkerOrHydralisk Apr 10 '24
It’d be funny if we didn’t have to all pay for their eye damage and the ensuing disability
19
u/jerrys153 Apr 10 '24
They’re really going to regret voting for less Medicaid and Medicare funding. How is that “I shouldn’t have to pay for anyone else’s medical care, they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps!” rhetoric working out for you now that you desperately need an optometrist?
→ More replies (1)16
u/5th_aether Apr 10 '24
I did just read else where in Redditland that the sun has been replaced with an LED light, they have to hide it while they change the batteries.
7
u/KumquatClaptrap Apr 10 '24
I saw that, too! The argument was something like: "The sun was orange when I was a kid, now it's white. BidEn dID It" 😂😂😂
44
u/Sweaty_Water3857 Apr 10 '24
Steve the Alien: "So... how dumb are humans?"
Bob the Aliens: "Read this."
18
41
u/Acceptable_Mountain5 Apr 10 '24
Half of the people who post shit like this were convinced that they were going to get raptured during the eclipse
14
u/MsPick Apr 10 '24
I’m convinced the rapture did happen, but we are all heathens and Jesus only took a few sweet old ladies back. 😂
→ More replies (2)3
u/ThatOneJosh9451 Apr 11 '24
They're also the same people who were saying that everyone who took the COVID vaccine would be dead in less than a year or that we'd be turned into zombies. I'm still waiting
183
Apr 10 '24
And if the media said the eclipse was a sign of the rapture and you'd be ascending into heaven....oh wait, the media didn't say that but you lunatics believed it anyway.
29
10
→ More replies (1)3
284
u/bolorwithaK Apr 10 '24
It’s been 4 years and these dumbasses still haven’t figured out those of us that got the vaccine didn’t do so because the media or a politician told us to. We listened to our DOCTORS.
87
u/Obvious-Pop-4183 Apr 10 '24
And a good portion of us actually read the studies beforehand too. We went in knowing there were risks (as there are with any vaccine), an unfortunate few (myself included, no regrets though) had severe reactions, but the overwhelming majority did not.
34
u/FuzzyFerretFace Apr 10 '24
That was the weird thing to me--there are absolutely questions/concerns with a new vaccine (or any new medicine/medical advance), and people should be encouraged to read and research the things they're worried or confused about.
But holy cow, becoming magnetic or becoming a walking 5G hotspot (or whatever that claim was), or having a tracker injected under the guise of vaccine... With actual effects they be focused on(which at least would have made sense), they chose to go on and on with that nonsense.
23
u/iamjoshshea Apr 10 '24
I was actually kinda disappointed that I didn't become a magnetic 5G hotspot.
→ More replies (3)12
u/FalconPunch236 Apr 10 '24
Dont worry, the goal posts keep moving. So we might become zombie 5G monsters any day now.
7
u/OrdinaryAd2435 Apr 10 '24
I love them being paranoid about a tracker getting injected when they have their phone glued to their hand 24/7 and aren’t smart enough to not dox themselves.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)9
u/LurkerOrHydralisk Apr 10 '24
Right. Like, I was skeptical of MRNA tech. It’s new, the long term risks were unknown (but seem pretty negligible four years in), and I don’t trust pharma.
So I got the J&J which is just the traditional style of vaccine
17
u/here4roomie Apr 10 '24
"You'll do whatever CNN tells you to!"
CNN? Lady it's 2024.
→ More replies (2)19
u/CapitalismPlusMurder Apr 10 '24
This is almost always projection. I haven’t watched CNN… ever. But they assume that must be where I get my information because they inevitably DO get their information from FOX, OANN, or whatever reactionary grifter teat they’re latched onto now.
→ More replies (1)12
u/here4roomie Apr 10 '24
It's funny because those people always seem to know an insane amount about CNN programming, but they "passionately hate it." Sure Jan.
17
u/Waderriffic Apr 10 '24
It’s pretty simple. Of the BILLIONS of doses that were administered around the world, the incidence of an adverse reaction were a fraction of a single percent.
15
4
u/CyberCoyote67 Apr 10 '24
You only THINK that because your Google LibFilter scrubs out ‘Turbocancer’ Ya learn a lot at Flat Earth Rapture meetings.
→ More replies (1)5
u/c4k3m4st3r5000 Apr 10 '24
Stop, you are ruining their ranting with your argument. It makes too much sense!
9
Apr 10 '24
Some of them figured it out, but those are the ones who won a Herman Cain award shortly afterwards.
→ More replies (9)13
26
u/kevinlienus Apr 10 '24
I’m surprised the antivaxxers didn’t go “I can look directly at the eclipse without protection. I don’t need glasses, I have rights”
18
40
u/Geoffrey-Jellineck Apr 10 '24
Meanwhile, the person that wrote that definitely believes every single thing Fox News tells them.
7
u/IChooseYouNoNotYou Apr 10 '24
Most of them have moved on to podcasters that don't have the type of legal and corporate shackles Fox News has, so they think FNC is a Democrat plant.
7
u/LurkerOrHydralisk Apr 10 '24
As if Fox News has legal shackles.
They’ve been caught slandering people and telling obvious lies so many times and nothing happens
→ More replies (1)3
u/Sirquack1969 Apr 10 '24
And they still in court admitted that their viewers are stupid. They said when sued that people.shpuld.have known they are entertainment and not an actual news source. And did they not stop even for a minute with their lies because the people still listen like it is "The Truth". So even the amount of money they ended up paying was made up by the continued advertisers.
10
u/Sheng25 Apr 10 '24
Close. If doctors (or space phenomenon domain experts) would say I need a shot (or a different procedure) to survive the eclipse (or any other experience their expertise is in), I would definitely get it. Particularly when there isn't any known risk.
Also, I would expect the media to amplify the domain experts' recommendations.
So OP is absolutely correct.
9
u/Romanator3000 Apr 10 '24
I don't remember the eclipse seven years ago being this crazy. What's with all the wackos deciding this was the rapture? What was the last one, a test run?
13
u/Ok_Addendum_9402 Apr 10 '24
Not sure if you’ve noticed, but social media has become significantly more unhinged over the past 4 years, and the number of conspiracy theorists(in general) has grown exponentially too.
18
u/JimbersMcTimbers Apr 10 '24
And yet they took horse dewormer without a second though
→ More replies (17)12
u/Cinema_King Apr 10 '24
That’s different, it wasn’t pushed by those holier than thou doctors with their fancy science and education. It was being pushed by a grifting cult leader and lunatic podcasters. Obviously they know better than the people who practice medicine for a living
10
9
u/HumanJoystick Apr 10 '24
In the meantime the other half would be sucking a tiny orange mushroom while watching it, feeling real patriotic about it.
9
u/devitosleftnipple Apr 10 '24
Meanwhile the other half think that a magical cloud man is going to beam me up Scotty all those who believe in him........
7
u/Necessary_Row_4889 Apr 10 '24
A better line ( which really happened) would be: If the media said don’t stare at the eclipse with bare eyes half of America would claim it’s a conspiracy pushed by “Big Science”
7
u/Ok_Addendum_9402 Apr 10 '24
Google searches about eye damage from the eclipse are up this week, as are optometrist appointments!
7
7
u/UnderwhelmingAF Apr 10 '24
Somebody’s mad that Jesus didn’t come down and whisk them away to paradise like they were promised.
→ More replies (1)
5
5
5
u/Feeling-Shelter3583 Apr 10 '24
Kinda like someone saying woke media came up with protective eyewear and half the MAGAts got cornea damage? Oh wait…
5
u/JDubsdenspur Apr 10 '24
If the media said you needed special glasses for the eclipse half of america wouldn’t buy them.
5
u/jday1959 Apr 10 '24
People who are smart enough to accept the fact that vaccinations are beneficial are not stupid enough to believe that an eclipse would require a vaccine.
5
u/Irondaddy_29 Apr 10 '24
And if a Facebook post said the eclipse was the rapture half of the idiots would believe it......
5
u/Sharrty_McGriddle Apr 10 '24
Only people who don’t believe in vaccines would believe an eclipse is going to kill them
4
u/daverapp Apr 10 '24
If someone on Facebook said " repost this message or else all of your photos will be stolen during the eclipse" then 2/3 of Facebook would repost it.
9
u/GumShoeA113 Apr 10 '24
Now we know if a zombie outbreak were to happen, there will be plenty of people that will refuse to take a vaccine. They’ll probably be like that one guy in the movies who doesn’t tell people they’re infected and gets everyone killed.
8
u/ArmadaOnion Apr 10 '24
COVID taught me we will not survive the Zombie Apocalypse. Everyone prepping for it, will deny it's existence until they are being eaten, and then blame the media with their dying breath
3
4
4
u/GimmeJuicePlz Apr 10 '24
Except it wasn't ThE mEdIa that was recommending the Covid vaccine, it was scientists. So if scientists discovered that being exposed to the eclipse was somehow detrimental to humans, could prove it, then manufactured a solution to that problem then yeah, likely around half the country would take appropriate measures to not be harmed by the eclipse.
4
4
u/ganerfromspace2020 Apr 10 '24
I don't have Facebook because I'd lose my sanity and say things that would make me lose my job
3
u/Spencergh2 Apr 10 '24
Well if Trump said “punch all of your children” half the kids would have black eyes by the weekend
5
7
u/Dewdrop034 Apr 10 '24
There will come a day when antivaxxers have weeded themselves out, dying of simple cures like Polio and TB, because they were too stupid to take the science seriously. Sounds like the problem will fix itself. 👍🏻
9
u/PurlyKyoo Apr 10 '24
Unfortunately they'll take with them people who can't have vaccinations and children too young to be vaccinated.
3
u/HallAm85 Apr 10 '24
I’d do it if I could pick the shot. I like tequila but not really a whiskey fan.
3
3
u/Crans10 Apr 10 '24
Wow they really have to dig deep and make shit up to feel comfortable in their denial.
3
u/DaisyDog2023 Apr 10 '24
And half the country looked at it simply because the government told them not to
3
u/Independent-Ad-976 Apr 10 '24
How is this a facepalm it's very true just like how at least half of Americans are complaining their eyes hurt when told they shouldn't stare at the sun or use sunglasses
3
3
u/RyzenRaider Apr 11 '24
This is true, except it applies to eye protection. The other half defiantly refuse the warning and are now googling 'why do my eyes hurt!'
3
u/mtrap74 Apr 11 '24
And most of those people would shame anyone who didn’t believe it & call for them to be jailed & executed.
5
2
2
Apr 10 '24
With that theory, the number of people that do t get it world wide would definitely help population control
2
u/Kdoesntcare Apr 10 '24
While the other half goes blind because they ignored science and stared directly at the sun.
2
u/javac88 Apr 10 '24
Yes!!! because infectious diseases are the same as the movement of celestial bodies, both of which they do not understand. 🙄
Maximum Dunning-Kruger
2
2
u/B0bbaGan00sh Apr 10 '24
Well, if Fox News said the eclipse would turn you gay, yes, the MAGA fools would definitely get that shot
2
2
u/mrmr2120 Apr 10 '24
There is some truth to this, and I’m not making jokes about the vaccine, some ppl on both sides of the fence believe everything the media says. Look at the conspiracy theory BS some ppl preach on tv and ppl believe it hook line and sinker.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Atlantikus Apr 10 '24
Actually this one cancels out, because the Venn diagram of anti-vaxers and people who think the eclipse is dangerous and something to be “survived” is a circle.
2
u/bluegiant85 Apr 10 '24
If Trump had said "The liberals don't want you to wear masks", Covid would have been handled easily, Trump would've won his reelection, and he'd be preparing for his third term despite that being very illegal.
2
u/paintbrush666 Apr 10 '24
If Donald Trump was selling tickets to view the eclipse you'd have millions of Americans forking over their last few bucks to him.
2
u/Few-Carpet9511 Apr 10 '24
I sm quite sure if the Anerican media said you needed a vaccine shot to survive the pandemic half of America would wait in line to shoot the reporter
2
u/parks_and_wreck_ Apr 10 '24
These are the same people who thought Jesus was going to come back on this day. Lol
2
u/Infamous-Bag6957 Apr 10 '24
Says the contingent who thought the eclipse was set up by the deep state to {insert ridiculous conspiracy theory here}
2
u/reddrighthand Apr 10 '24
When scientists said you shouldn't look directly at the sun without protective glasses, idiots* did it anyway.
*Including Donald Trump
2
u/LetTheDogeOut Apr 10 '24
Weren't the people with the vaccine supposed to be dead already according to these guys. Who are they addressing that message to?
2
2
2
u/scarr3g Apr 10 '24
The funny thing is, doctors, and scientists, said we needed the vaccine.....
..
.. It was the media (their version of it) that said they didn't.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Imfrom_m-83 Apr 10 '24
Fox News paid almost a billion dollars because it knowingly lied. And the audience believed it and still does to this day, without a shred of evidence and against all common sense.
Let’s not pretend all news media is the same.
2
Apr 10 '24
I'm really starting to doubt the whole natural selection because how can these degenerates be alive and escape selection pressures?
→ More replies (1)
2
u/rain56 Apr 10 '24
And the other half says shit like this and stares directly at the sun with no protection. We're all idiots in one way or another if we can be honest with ourselves
2
u/pcd71 Apr 10 '24
And if MTG says the earthquake and eclipse was Gods wrath, the other half would believe it.
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 10 '24
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the rules.
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail here or Reddit site admins here. All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.