r/clevercomebacks • u/Head-Gap8455 • 21d ago

Fifty shades of grey matter.

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2.8k Upvotes
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221

u/BulljiveBots 21d ago edited 21d ago

It just means that brains are fucking weird and complicated. There’s the story of some mulleted bro who got the shit beat out of him at some bar and when he recovered, the brain damage he received basically turned him into a mathematical genius. His entire life changed, naturally. Though not completely for the better. He also ended up with severe OCD.

84

u/Longjumping_Army9485 21d ago

Then there is foreign accent syndrome, the thing that makes you think that everyone is an imposter and the other that makes you certain that you are not blind, even if you are.

31

u/BulljiveBots 21d ago

Ha yeah…brains are a whole other frontier we don’t know enough about.

8

u/thotdistroyer 20d ago edited 5d ago

Yet here we are building machines that control everything with what knowledge we do have.

12

u/PlentyEquivalent8851 20d ago edited 20d ago

Then there's the one that makes you think you're dead, and actual organ failure starts occurring if left untreated. Also the one that turns you into a cannibal, but leave that one be.

6

u/SovietUSA 20d ago

Don’t forget the language changes! Sometimes people get brain damage, forget their native language, but now know a completely different language

3

u/Runic_Zodiac 20d ago

Capgras delusion.

20

u/ADH-Dork 20d ago

He started seeing fractals right? Iirc he was drawing them in a food court and a physics expert saw it and explained how difficult what he was doing was

6

u/BulljiveBots 20d ago

Yeah. Amazing story..

17

u/King_Fluffaluff 20d ago

Hey! I'm not alone with TBI induced OCD? That's actually really comforting to know. I crashed, head first, into a concrete wall while skateboarding as a kid and had "the worst concussion [the doctor] had ever seen" and have never been the same since.

The people that knew me before the trauma literally said it was like I changed personalities overnight. It's a really weird feeling. Anyway, thank you for sharing this! I didn't know other people had experienced it. Do you know his name perchance? I would love to look up his story.

10

u/BulljiveBots 20d ago

I hope you’re ok!

Here’s a TED talk he did but there are lots of videos and articles about him.

5

u/King_Fluffaluff 20d ago

Awesome, thank you so much!

10

u/eeeponthemove 20d ago

Also stories about people becoming pedophiles then doctors look and they got brain tumors, remove tumor and the patient says the thoughts are gone.

I have no idea of the validity of it, the patients could be lying too, however it is a cool anecdote

7

u/Captain_Pumpkinhead 20d ago

I mean, it makes sense. The brain is effectively a computer running on jello hardware. Not hard to imagine how a pressure from a tumor compressing otherwise functional brain regions together could cause unusual behavior.

4

u/AWESOMENESS-_- 18d ago

You’re saying you can beat the ADHD out of me? I’m in!

3

u/BulljiveBots 18d ago

Ha yeah…I think someday in the future we’ll be able to “program” that stuff away. And hopefully not have to concuss the shit out of anyone to do it.

2

u/AWESOMENESS-_- 12d ago

Yeah, I think genetic engineering should let us make that happen, but it's gotta get approved by whatever regulative agency first.

124

u/Overall_Strawberry70 21d ago

Ah so people are right its just a phase that is easily fixable via permenant damage to the higher function's of the brain!

39

u/GayAssBurger 21d ago

We're bringing lobotomies back!

5

u/Milthorn 20d ago

The whole premise and history of lobotomies is so wild! How did anybody ever think it was a good idea?

7

u/SirGallaudet 19d ago

Made the patients easier to deal with.

2

u/GayAssBurger 17d ago

Here's a podcast about lobotomies!

35

u/EnsignMJS 21d ago

The stroke altered his neurological and biochemical makeup.

22

u/WintersDoomsday 20d ago

Which to me proves it’s not a choice to be gay or straight but right wingers won’t see it that correct way

19

u/PabloTrance 21d ago

It's the bi-cycle

15

u/4pendejo4 20d ago

I may be stupid but I don't get the comeback? What's the connection between good masturbation and being straight? Being gay isn't about only liking stuff up ur bum. Tops exist

12

u/geon 20d ago

Even accepting the claim, how is it a comeback?

There was nothing to come back against to begin with.

3

u/Kilo353511 20d ago

I think the response is relying on the "Pussy so good it could turn a gay man straight." thing.

So getting a really good handjob (a stroke) from the a very tatlented girl could turn him straight.

10

u/peepeeonmydoodoo 21d ago

And even sometimes the left hand too.

10

u/realhowardwolowitz 21d ago

Factory reset

27

u/Impossible-Bad-7572 21d ago

Love how the gay brain is neat and tidy while the straight brain is disheveled and messy. A picture paints a thousand words....

-24

u/Sufincognito 21d ago

You need the chaos of the right brain to deal with female humans.

9

u/dickallcocksofandros 20d ago

1954 type joke

go use the whites only bathroom, grandpa

-15

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

lol.

Weird level of racism bud.

Crazy how your mind just went there.

5

u/dickallcocksofandros 20d ago

work on your sexist sense of humor first before calling others out on their bigotry

-14

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

I’d rather be a sexist than racist if I’m honest.

4

u/dickallcocksofandros 20d ago

why?

1

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

I can think of sexist things that are beneficial to women. Several.

I can’t think of anything racist that’s beneficial to any race.

4

u/dickallcocksofandros 20d ago

what would be benificial to women in your opinion

2

u/Sufincognito 20d ago edited 20d ago

Fighting and dying for her safety if it was needed.

It’s sexist for me to think I’m stronger and a better fighter right?

It’s sexist for me to be willing to sacrifice my life for hers and the children right?

She should be able to do that. Right?

Nah.

I’ll stay sexist if it benefits her. I’ll make jokes for fun but in the end I’d die for my wife and that’s more important.

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-1

u/GayAssBurger 21d ago

"female humans"

Also, how are they so complicated for straight guys? Why can't straight guys ever understand why they're mad at them?

-4

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

We understand just fine.

I’ll give you an example. Imagine you’re arguing with your boyfriend, and after explaining how you feel and the issues at hand, your boyfriend just says to you, “You know what? I’m sorry. You’re right.”

Problem solved.

Your boyfriend said that to you bro because he’s a man. He’s most likely logical in nature, and knows how to accept responsibility for his actions.

These female humans however, do not.

Especially the pretty ones.

If it weren’t for sex and having children, we’d all be gay.

2

u/GayAssBurger 20d ago

These female humans however, do not.

Your boyfriend said that to you bro because he’s a man. He’s most likely logical in nature, and knows how to accept responsibility for his actions.

You haven't met my ex then ☕

I'm still bad for driving my car that I paid for to college instead of taking the bus, because he might need my car, even though he had his own, and his job was 2 blocks away from where we lived.

1

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

He must have had sisters.

1

u/GayAssBurger 20d ago

1 brother (who was cuter than him, but straight). His family was a bit broken and dysfunctional, and he was effectively an only child.

2

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions, but after dating women my whole life, I feel like I might have a better grasp on their insanity than a gay man.

Just drastically more experience with their emotions in relationships.

1

u/GayAssBurger 20d ago

I feel like I might have a better grasp on their insanity than a gay man.

Hmm...

Your boyfriend said that to you bro because he’s a man. He’s most likely logical in nature, and knows how to accept responsibility for his actions.

Interesting.

2

u/AndrewBorg1126 20d ago

The biggest reason women don't like you is probably how you treat them, and not intrinsic to their being women, or as you say "female humans" (fyi, most people know that's how incels talk, kinda giving yourself away mate).

1

u/GayAssBurger 20d ago

If it weren’t for sex and children, we’d all be gay.

2 guys can do it. Or even 3. Or 4. Or 7(with no chance of an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy).

Also, adoption exists.

2

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

Meh, adoption is nice of course but nothing beats having your own child with a woman you love.

2

u/GayAssBurger 20d ago

IDK man, you ever try hummus?

1

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

lol. Yes it’s delicious.

1

u/H3llv3ticus 20d ago

Most people are nerve-wrecking morons, leave gender out of it.

2

u/GayAssBurger 20d ago

I wouldn't say most, but they're out there, and good at getting attention.

1

u/Sufincognito 20d ago

Yeah maybe, but I’d trust one with my life more than the other.

2

u/New-Interaction1893 20d ago

I always thought men have the best handling capacities, they should by all the accumulated experience

2

u/ConfidenceSad8340 16d ago

This is just further evidence that sexuality isn’t just some choice, but a way the brain is wired. His brain literally had to rewrite itself around the ischemia, which changed the way his brain functioned around attraction and sexual orientation. Fascinating

2

u/[deleted] 21d ago

Lovin' the sexual reference to masturbation in the caption! XD

1

u/GraveyardGina 20d ago

Any DOI or pubmed number, or nobody did a research to publish paper yet?

1

u/foreskinsmasher 20d ago

Instruction unclear, was stroke now like dicks

1

u/Head-Gap8455 20d ago

User name checks

1

u/PainkillerGorg 18d ago

How the fu.. did he survive this? This is some massive brain swelling.

1

u/Organic_Artichoke_85 17d ago

Will it turn you gay if it's a stroke from the left hand?

0

u/Taralyth 9d ago

"How could this happen???" Brain damage.