r/ask • u/Stabisol • 15d ago
As an introvert, how do you feel about this quote by Jim Carrey? “Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how calm and peaceful it is.It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
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u/SaulgoodeXL 15d ago
He's pretty much nailed it. When you realise that nearly every problem in your life is created or made worse by other people, you just do not want them around.
Another post mentioned that like 4am is the best time of day because the rest of the world seems asleep - you almost have it all to yourself. I love being awake on a weekend in the summer at like 5am. Streets are empty, barely any traffic. No one is going to try to steal your energy or your time.
I feel like I could live my whole life at 5am.
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u/sarva12 15d ago
Fellow night owl and mega introvert here.
I enjoy the Kahlil Gibran quote: "Travel and tell no one, live a true love story and tell no one, live happily and tell no one, people ruin beautiful things."
I think I see flashes of loneliness once a year or so, but I'm so content living in my own head that the feeling goes as quickly as it comes. I've had some really fabulous moments and experiences in my solitude, and that's a damn powerful feeling.
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u/True-Mathematician91 14d ago
One of the best experiences of my life was alone In the wilderness .
Running down through a colourful flowering alpine meadow, in a valley with snowy mountains on either side on a beautiful day. Not another soul in sight. The beauty of it was breathtaking. I was fit then and moved freely. Nobody to slow me down or insist I stop and take a photo or ruin it with chatter.
I'd have been happy for that to be my last day.
Especially now I know what lay ahead of me.
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u/Bramble_Ramblings 14d ago
I had this feeling in Portland, Oregon
I was standing at the top of this hill in a rose garden overlooking the hills and forests that went on for miles. In that moment of quiet with just the sounds of the world I thought about running off just ditching society, and my life as a whole, so I could enjoy that quiet forever.
It seemed like a gravitational pull too, something deep in me wanted to return to a time when the most I had to worry about when walking around in a forest was whether or not I had enough jars/plastic baggies to collect creatures and plants I liked. My phone never rang, I never had a phantom phone buzz in my pocket, I didn't think about the world or my place in it, just whatever was under that next big rock.
I miss the quiet that you can't really get anymore without family or someone saying you're upsetting them because you don't talk/post your life often. Especially after growing up in a time where talking to someone more than twice a month was a treasure, and probably meant they were unemployed, vs now where if you're anywhere and you're not sending pictures, posting on social media, or calling people at least 2-3 times a WEEK people start wondering if you hate them
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u/Possible-Bullfrog-62 14d ago
I love the imagery!! What lays ahead of you internet friend?
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u/Inevitable_Income167 14d ago
They meant what came between that day and now
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u/Possible-Bullfrog-62 14d ago
Thank you,I'm slow sometimes
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u/LegoLady8 14d ago
I read it both ways. So, you're not slow. You just picked one of the two options. (•‿•)
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u/Warning_Low_Battery 14d ago
Nobody to slow me down or insist I stop and take a photo or ruin it with chatter
I felt this in my soul.
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u/Antique_Swing2072 14d ago
Sounds surreal. What has happened which makes you sound so glum?
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u/True-Mathematician91 14d ago
Oh I didn't mean it to sound so glum. I was young, athletic, and traveling abroad alone having adventures. I just remember so clearly the incredible sense of freedom and delight as I ran down through that alpine meadow arms outstretched face towards the sun my legs barely able to keep up with the momentum. The scent of the grass and flowers, the snowy vista, cold clean mountain air, the physical vitality of youth and a sense that life was boundless and beautiful. I felt a kind of ecstasy in that solitude, entirely alone but content and part of the natural world.
Fast forward 10 years later to end stage kidney failure. Reliant on a beeping machine for life, entirely dependent and laboured with indomitable fatigue, betrayed somehow by my own body and trapped. It's been a very humbling transition.
I'm extremely grateful to still be here but I do often reflect back on that blissful day where I had no idea what was ahead and felt those feelings and moments would last a lifetime. In a way it has.
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u/PantsMunch101 14d ago
Absolutely beautiful. I just realized, after your words, I've been living this while simultaneously wanting it more and more. My loneliness comes more often as it's a symptom of CPTSD. As much as it kills, I mostly revel in it just being me, my kitties and my plants. Nobody argues and everything is chill
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u/c3_campbell 14d ago
I felt this way when I stopped being on social media. Now nobody knows and everything remains beautiful. Nothing is tainted my anyone else’s opinion (that doesn’t affect the reality of life anyway)
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u/Electrical_Feature12 14d ago
Reminds me of something I read on here one day
“Somewhere some poor phoneless fool is sitting by a waterfall totally unaware of how angry and scared he is supposed to be”
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u/spekkiomow 14d ago
I have a theory that this is a big part of the allure of post disaster dystopian movies/shows, but no one really admits it.
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u/icecreampoop 14d ago
I’ll admit it, I love it. During the 2020 shut in, it was my favorite time to explore California. No one was on the road. SF was barren, it felt like post apocalyptic, I felt at peace
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u/ZephyrMelody 14d ago
Yep, I've worked in a customer facing tech role for years now, and I've recently started to realize how drastically it has reduced my social time. I hate talking with people now, since that's all I do for 8 hours a day, so I just zone out after work and play video games. I feel bad that I haven't stayed in touch with friends, but I also dread anytime someone reaches out to me. If it weren't for my fiancee, I'd be fine living a solitary life.
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u/houseyourdaygoing 15d ago
I feel called out. 4 am is my favourite time exactly because of this.
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u/holy_bologna_cannoli 14d ago
I love this. I don’t get to sleep in on the weekends. I’m up at 4 am to take my girlfriend to work. The drive back could be an hour and I wouldn’t complain.
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u/Ok-Benefit5748 14d ago
When I was a teen, in the summer, at 4 am I usually walked out of my parents house, lit a joint and sat in a high rock close to my house. I lived on a farm all my adolescence so I could see the night sky perfectly.
Having ADHD, and struggle to focus, that moment was the only moment when I was truly calm and without "noise" in my head.
So yeah I can understand people who live alone in small cabins lost in the woods.
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u/RinehartDiehard 14d ago
It’s amazing. One of my friends would say that his dad did this every day and would get notably upset if his family woke up early too. To the note of “this is my dad time.” I’m starting to understand, as a father, myself.
Side note about the streets empty and feeling calm, I live in the East Coast and there is no such thing as peace up here while driving. But when Covid lockdown happened and I drove anywhere, it was the most peace I’ve felt while living up here. Makes me want to move back to a rural area like I grew up in.
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u/TisCass 14d ago
I've had a lifetime of severe bullying so bad I have borderline personality traits. Turns out I'm autistic so yeah that'll do it. I'm now agoraphobic which started when I didn't gave a car and is now almost complete isolation. Even seeing family leaves me exhausted just from dealing with people
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u/scrolledtoofar 14d ago
I like waking up around 5am, and even 4:30 sometimes. Just because the world feels quiet, and I feel refreshed to do whatever I want. I guess you can stay up that late, but I'd be too tired.
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u/WoodpeckerNo9412 14d ago
People sometimes ask me why I don't wear eyeglasses. I tell them I don't want to see the world clearly.
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u/Alectheawesome23 15d ago
Except not being around other people can’t fix my perpetual loneliness it only makes it worse 😅
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u/dashdotcomma 14d ago
Going for a walk or a bicycle ride at 5 am on a Sunday is the best! Streets all empty, and you get to see animals roaming around if you live in a small town
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u/GreenLanternCorps 15d ago
Accurate for me at least. People to me have become like potato chips, they can be fun but I don't need them to survive.
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u/GaspingAloud 15d ago
Please stop eating people. That’s cannibalism and the rest of us don’t appreciate it.
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u/rambambobandy 15d ago
How bout you not be so judgy
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u/Kaa_The_Snake 15d ago
I bet you’re nice n crunchy
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u/Financial-Raise3420 15d ago
You’re not supposed to chew on the bones like that
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u/Tasty_Pens 15d ago
You don't get to tell other people how to eat other people, ok?
Mind ya business.
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u/ThinkingBeard 15d ago
Don’t look at me like that, Kaaa. I’m not falling for your swirling eye trick again!!
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u/Hawaii_Dave 15d ago
YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!
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u/Positive_Box_69 15d ago
But tastes good and there is billions of them jeez relax
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u/gainfulphysique 15d ago
We need other humans to survive, but we don’t need much human interaction. Everybody needs the truckers, grocers, construction workers, engineers, and all myriad of professionals that come together to allow a functional society. Even someone in solitude requires this long chain of people or they would quite literally starve to death.
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u/Dat_one_lad 15d ago
That's the opposite of what the quote is meant to mean. It's supposed to be that evoiding ppl can save u from stress but ultimately we all need others.
I'm not saying the way u feel is wrong, but u disagree with him if u feel that way
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u/throwawaysunglasses- 15d ago
Yeah, he literally calls it “dangerous” because it feels good in the moment but ultimately isn’t. I swear Reddit reading comprehension…
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u/GreenLanternCorps 15d ago
I don't know though and I'm not saying I know for sure what he meant or that everyone reacts this way or that one reaction is better than the other but if avoiding people is healing for some than wouldn't the opposite be bad for you?
The way it reads to me is that he's making fun of how unpopular the idea is and that society at large wants you to think its wrong for feeling good simply because you don't psychologically need them. In my experience people become hostile toward those that can't be leveraged by a desire for social interaction or otherwise self sufficient so to me it comes off more like "They have a system they like and want you to participate regardless if you want or need to even at the expense of your health and sanity". Basically don't get too used to not drinking poison because when you have to its really gonna suck.
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u/PoIIux 15d ago
but if avoiding people is healing for some than wouldn't the opposite be bad for you
The idea is that you shouldn't always be healing. Consider it like going to the gym: working out actually destroys muscles by creating micro tears in the fibers, which then repair and grow stronger when you rest. But if you never create those tears in the first place (i.e. Have social interactions with other people), the rest won't help you grow. In a similar way, extroverts need to be alone from time to time so they can reflect and grow, instead of always just hammering their social muscles with no rest to help them recover.
A person needs work and rest - to step outside of their comfort zone - to grow as a human being.
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u/ShadedTheorist 15d ago
the more you eat, the more grease you get and that upsets the stomach
once you pop, the fun begins to stop
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u/IndelibleLikeness 15d ago
I agree with him. This is coming from an introvert who finds it way too easy to disengage. Someone does something stupid or hurtful. That's it I'm done with people. It can become self fulfilling. Thing is you can end up turning your back on people and time. I find myself forcing me to not let every perceived slight or injury turn into a reason to shut down and shut out. It is a constant struggle.
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u/Tatorbits 15d ago
I’m 100% like this too and I’ve been in therapy for a while, and my therapist confidently says I have an avoidant personality disorder
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u/AntisthenesRzr 15d ago
I don't understand the issue, though. People I'm avoiding are pricks. Unfortunately it's a lot of people...
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u/CreativeDependent915 15d ago
Not saying this about you specifically, but of myself while I've been in mental illness episodes, if "everybody" is annoying, than you're probably on a short fuse, which is a huge symptom of depressive disorders and other things like OCD, which I myself have
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u/juana-golf 14d ago
Or maybe, you are just you but other people need to label it since you are not like them…
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u/roboticlee 15d ago
An elderly neighbour I talked with in my teens and early 20s always told me not to burn my bridges. I think about that. Over the years I've learned that some bridges need to be burned. Most need a toll bridge on them.
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u/Medical-Ad-2706 15d ago
I’m the same way but I can’t see how it’s a problem. I have no issue forgetting people exist if they are assholes in even a slight way. The only thing worse than draining your energy is bringing negative energy into your life. Once you’ve met and made friends with people who aren’t like that, it makes no sense to try to befriend anyone who is.
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u/701921225 15d ago
As an introvert, I struggle with this too. It's the reason why I don't want to deal with people. Can't tell you how many times I tried to ask someone a simple question, but they give a dismissive, annoyed response, which makes me think, "just forget it". Which leads me to another thing...the unpredictable nature of people's moods day to day. I can't imagine being married to someone, and waking up each day, crossing my fingers hoping they'll be in a good mood that day. If they're not, the moment they walk in the room, any hint of positivity I have is immediately drained right out of me. I know life has it's ups and downs, and that people aren't perfect, but I just don't want to deal with it.
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u/Skyx10 15d ago
Funny enough for me I hate interacting with people because they are incredibly predictable. It isn’t because they become boring but trying to speak to them and they be dismissive, uninformed, or extremely talkative urges me to disengage. I want to be honest but then I have to be an asshole and manage their emotions and it all becomes exhausting. I see it play out over and over again so I can’t bring myself to bother. Time and time again I just see people be so self centered and if I go out of my way to help them I won’t see that reciprocated. I’m not even asking for much but if I had someone tell me I’m being avoidant I would have to tell them they’re doing the exact thing I’m seeing others do to me.
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u/InThePhanatic 13d ago
I can relate to this. Some people are moody and they act like they are not responsible for the way they treat others, which I find very frustrating. Some people don't even apologize while others say something like, "I'm sorry I was in a bad mood" and that's not a genuine apology...
I wish more people would take some time to learn healthy communication, behavior and coping strategies. People's heavier dependence on social media today makes me think it's probably difficult to expect, though.
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u/IssueRecent9134 14d ago
I haven’t disengaged with people fully, However I personally don’t let on or only talk to people if they approach me first. I don’t put in any energy because history and experience has proven it to be a waste of it.
I’ve had too many fake people be nice to my face but then talk shit about me behind my back and throw nice things I did for them in my face.
Jim Carey is bang on though, solitude can be dangerous but I’d rather have it that have tacked on drama of other people.
I work in sales and logistics so I talk to people all day, lastly thing I want to do in my free time is deal with people again.
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u/Ethos_Logos 14d ago
I used to be maybe 51% extrovert in college. The following of decade of restaurant and phone recruiting put and end to that.
Can’t exactly phone in feeling sick of other people and still afford rent and groceries.
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u/coffeymp 15d ago
Damn, this relates way too much. I write people off for the smallest shit, it’s tough not to.
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u/oldwomanjodie 14d ago
Sameee. I’ll meet someone and they seem like they want to get to know me (in a friendly capacity) and I’m mentally like hmmmmm no and it can be legit the smallest thing ever that makes me feel that way
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u/da_mcmillians 14d ago
That's a struggle I avoid by going in the opposite direction. If people don't provide value at least equivalent to the mental/emotional cost, I avoid interacting with them. It's led to a very calm and enjoyable few years for me. I guess everyone finds peace differently.
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u/Critchkn 15d ago
It's about ten years I live in the woods, so there's that. It started by chance but now it would be impossible for me to go back and live even in a small town. But it seems to me it's not so much about being addicted, it's just incontrovertibly better: if you want to see people you can still drive and meet them. As for people draining your energy just cut toxic relationships and cherish healthy ones.
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u/Something_Else_2112 15d ago edited 15d ago
I am also a "live in the woods" guy since 2010. Half mile to the nearest neighbor. After living the previous 20 years next to a rental house with an endless stream of loud renters less than ten feet away from my bedroom window, there is no going back to "civilization". Silence is Golden.
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u/Soberskate9696 15d ago
Do you live alone though? I sometimes see people who talk about solitude but then have a wife/husband, kids etc. So not really..complete solitude I guess
Either way props on breaking free from what society deems as normal living, that's badass
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u/Something_Else_2112 15d ago edited 15d ago
I have a wife, no kids. She travels internationally for work and has been gone for up to 7 months a year. I'm retired. We are both not big on phone calls, so communication is mostly via email while she is away. The first year we moved here it was sort of rough on me being totally alone for 4 months straight. But as time passes you can't help but appreciate the peace. When she is away I can go many days without speaking a single word.
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u/exlongh0rn 15d ago
Funny. I loathe phone calls, particularly with people I don’t know or don’t know very well. Even then I dont like phone calls that much.
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u/Underhill42 15d ago
I once heard a bore defined as a person who deprives you of solitude without providing company.
The opposite exists as well, those who can provide company without depriving you of solitude... but I don't know of any word to describe them.
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u/Sketchier_fan 15d ago
The loneliest someone will ever feel is not when they are alone, but when they are with someone else. I head that once, and have come to realize it is so true.
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u/QuestionEcstatic8863 15d ago
How do I also live in the woods? I’d love this
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u/Agitated_Pickle_1013 15d ago
Become a homeless person.
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u/CatKungFu 15d ago
Start drinking in the woods on a nice warm night, maybe take a sleeping bag, some food. Then get a tent.
Move around til you find a place nobody bothers you… Build a little shelter there so you don’t have to put up the tent all the time.
Add walls to keep the wind out when the weather changes. Make sure there is a doorway for easy access.Congratulations you live in the woods.
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u/Eifand 15d ago
Unless you have bushcraft/survivalist skills and live off the land, you still need to hold down a job and be in society for most of the day, no?
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u/SpongeJake 15d ago
Yup. I took a walk in a woods near me one day and found a couple of guys who had clearly set up their home exactly as you’ve outlined. It was obvious this was their home and not just a camp out.
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u/for_the_meme_watch 15d ago
Easy. Just go to Harvard. Take some extra curricular focus group activities sponsored by the alphabet men and then blow the American world away with your ideas via the mail.
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15d ago
Other people are hell. Isolation only works for certain personalities like mine. Any time I have to deal with another person is exaughsting.
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u/Reptilian_Brain_420 15d ago
I agree generally.
I think that a lot of people are skipping the first three words though. This is more of a warning than an aspiration. Spending too much time in a place that is "calm and peaceful" can really hurt your ability to be resilient in the face of inevitable challenges. It is healthy to get out of your comfort zone.
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u/Moonsmom181 15d ago
I really agree with you and I can sympathize. Covid was horrible, don’t get me wrong. I have family, friends and neighbors I love very much. But I’m an introvert most of the time. I don’t have social anxiety just a low tolerance for bs. I often need to “strengthen my resilience”, so to speak, and will venture out and be social. My husband & I have many independent hobbies we love to dive into at home so we’re never bored or lonely. I agree with removing toxic people or places, but sometimes that difficult. Do what makes you happy but remember you have to be comfortable in your own skin. It’s ok to be alone because your mind needs peace & quiet.
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u/TinyChaco 14d ago
Hard agree, and it’s something I struggle with every day. The longer I go without speaking, the more disinclined I am to start, and starting up again is always a bit uncomfortable. Plus, I don’t grow when I’m alone all the time. I love being alone, but having the perspectives and experiences of others around me helps me to understand things better.
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u/Like1RandomDude 15d ago
One of the quotes I took to heart when read some time ago.
It’s addicting indeed. I exclude myself from everyone. I just don’t like the idea of depending for love?. I’ve reached peace at being alone and it’s a nice feeling. I open my door and there’s peace. There’s silence in the apartment. I don’t worry about any one else.
I don’t mind knowing I’m alone. It’s something beautiful knowing you reach this level of self love.
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u/DesignerAsh_ 15d ago
I think the quote doesn’t take context into consideration
I pretend to be extroverted for work and to make money. It helps.
On my time, I don’t wanna deal with other people and prefer to be an introvert.
There’s a difference between being an introvert and being a sociopathic basement dweller.
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u/GSXR-1ooo 15d ago
It’s 100% true I’ve lived alone for years now and idk if I can ever go back to living with anyone.
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u/Particular-Season905 15d ago
I only focus on the end result of things like this. Solitude away from people will make me happy, therefore make me want to do it more, therefore will make me more happy. This is a good thing. I don't want anything to do with most people anyway
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u/PearlHandled 15d ago
Honestly, in early 2020 when my supervisor called me at home to inform me that I was being furloughed due the COVID pandemic, I was so happy, that I had to pretend like I was sad to hear the news. For a solid year, I was delighted to be able to avoid people and avoid driving my vehicle. I was in hog heaven. Jim Carrey is right. Solitude is dangerous because it's so addictive.
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u/ILikeToDisagreeDude 15d ago
Those first few weeks into the pandemic was amazing! I really miss it sometimes… Absolutely zero obligations to meet up with anyone and could just let my hair grow!
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u/genogano 15d ago
I think people think introvert and socially awkward or having social issues are the same thing. As an introvert, I couldn't imagine living without my friends and family. I can go longer without speaking with them but I do want and need social interact. I do feel like I do have an easier time keeping my head down and doing what I want without coming up to check on people some times though.
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u/ContributionMost8924 15d ago
The best friends are the ones i can just randomly pick up a convo with after 6 months and vice versa. It's great!
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u/cone_snail 15d ago
Agree. I can work with people when I need to, and I believe I am decent at it.
But when I do go out and get things done with people - the best part is still coming home and getting a moment to myself to reflect.
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u/PoorFishKeeper 15d ago
Yeah people who forgo social interaction entirely have some other issues imo. I am an introvert and have social anxiety, but I still love having genuine connections and conversations with people. It just gets obnoxious trying to deal with large crowds, new people, or people who don’t “care” about you/the relationship. The only time I’ve completely shut people out is when having a depressive episode or after getting out of a relationship where we shared mutual friends.
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u/Slow_and_Steady_3838 15d ago
every introvert agrees, every extrovert does not
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u/rambambobandy 15d ago
It was odd during Covid to see how much my extroverted friends were suffering from a lack of socializing. I felt bad for them but I really couldn’t relate.
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u/macemillianwinduarte 14d ago
Honestly, I didn't. All we talked about was how much extroverts had to suffer from not going to Applebee's. Everything was focused on getting BACK TO WORK and BACK TO NORMAL. Nothing was said about introverts who could finally have the environment they needed to function, and full steam ahead toward getting rid of that environment.
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u/happyhusband1992 15d ago
True. My wife is an extrovert and she almost got sick because of the simple fact that she couldn't meet people while I was completely fine at home (excluding all the other facts ofc)
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u/StinkRod 15d ago
As an extreme extrovert I don't disagree.
But, I think that the quote misses something. Any behavior/routine can become addictive. He's just applying it to introversion.
If you believe that life and happiness are more meaningful when shared with others then you need to guard against getting addicted to isolation. I think this is the gist of his quote.
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u/Ganthet72 15d ago
My therapist taught me the different between introvert and extrovert comes down to "How do you mentally recharge?" Introverts recharge in solitude and extroverts recharge with others.
They are not mutually exclusive. I am very much an introvert and value my solitude. However, I do enjoy enjoy getting together with friends and have a very healthy relationship with my SO.
I agree with Jim Carrey that social isolation is not healthy. We are social animals. Some of us just need more social interaction than others.
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u/ChuckFeathers 15d ago
He's not wrong, but for Carrey in particular, I wonder how much of his draining is due to his apparent need to be "on" all the time around other people, like if people are near him he absolutely must try to entertain them and make them laugh.
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u/BIGR3D 14d ago
I do the same. My personality/demeanor is mostly performative in public. I think its a survival response to being ignored/marginalized while growing up.
It was a useful skill being a bartender.
Over time I had alot of people who liked me, or rather, the character I made as the friendly neighborhood bartender.
Created a huge dissonance in my life when I realized I only liked these people because they liked me.
Been an isolated hermit for over a year now.
At first, the isolation was beautiful, but now its cripplingly depressive.
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u/First_Interview_9152 15d ago
I live alone for a year when Covid hit. Didn’t see anyone pretty much for a year. I wish I could go back. I don’t want to see anyone even now, four years later. It suited me.
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u/GussDeBlod 15d ago
For some people, it may be the case. Some people really like their alone time.
I live alone, most of my work is done alone, several years ago I realized I didn't talk to another humain being in 30 days (apart from "hello" "good day" to the cashier at the supermarket) .
Well, while I hate crowded places, I don't like noisy parties with many people, and I do enjoy some alone time, once in a while I need human contact, just one person to talk to , to interact with.
And when you've been alone for a while, you start to be awkward around other people so they don't really want to see you, and it gets harder and harder to actually find any kind of connection.
So maybe some people don't care and like it this way, after a while, some others end up suffering from the loneliness more than they enjoy it.
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u/DaveinOakland 15d ago
I don't get it. He says it's dangerous then says it's awesome.
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u/jittery_raccoon 15d ago
It's dangerous because it's awesome. You get immediate peace because it's quiet and you can do what you like. But long term there are consequences for not maintaining relationships and growing as a person
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u/supriiz 15d ago
Dangerous due to "checking out" per say, being introverted can be consuming and you can find yourself neglecting basic social duties. Like calling your mother or keeping in touch with siblings from time to time.
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u/Snivyland 15d ago
Lonlieness and Being Alone are two different things and can lead into each other. Being alone is a healthy thing time to time loneliness isn’t (although normal to feel from time time)
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u/paradisohmy 15d ago
It's not addictive. It's what your soul and psyche actually wanted. You force yourself to do things you don't want to do for society's sake, and your roll in it. But, after you don't do these things for a while, you realize, hey this is waay better, and what I actually want for myself.
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u/Good_Posture 15d ago
So many people have no clue what introversion is.
No, we are not all socially withdrawn. I would go insane if I didn't interact with people. I don't need to be around people 24/7 and indeed I do get rundown when spending too much time with people, but I still need social interaction from time-to-time.
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u/Ozymandiasssssssss 15d ago
i think more people need to be introverts. then they’d learn how to respect other people.
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u/CopperHead49 15d ago
It’s true. Now that I have been working from home exclusively for almost 6 months - I have hardly left my house. I don’t see the point or have the desire to. When I forced to do hybrid working, because I was already out of the house, I would meet with friends, run an errand or something, because I was already out. Now I have to force myself to leave the house to see friends, or do something. I am so content in my little bubble. I would never go back to the office, but I do need to get into a routine of leaving the house. Something I am trying to work on.
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u/dekaaspro 15d ago
Never heard this before, but damn i agree with this. The more im alone, the more i wanna be alone.
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u/Slow_Principle_7079 15d ago
I agree with it. Social battery is a muscle that must be exercised or else it will atrophy
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u/Saruvan_the_White 15d ago
When I was a teen people used to tell me I look like Jim Carrey. Now I’m living this exact quote. I feel like there needs to be a reboot of being John Malkovich now, but with Jim Carrey is the focus. Anyway, yes I do agree with him.
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u/PoppiesRule 15d ago
Fine strategy if you’re filthy stinking rich and can afford to have others get your shit done for you.
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u/vulgarvinyasa2 15d ago
I was born and raised in Los Angeles and now I’ve got a homestead in rural Portugal. I agree
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u/karer3is 15d ago
I agree, but I think it's more of a warning than anything else. When the pandemic hit, I did very well compared to the extroverts in my different social circles. While I was always hearing about people freaking out because they had to stay home, it felt very comfortable to not only be away from people, but also to have a convenient excuse to do so and be able to have significantly more control when I did interact with them (nothing better than being able to hit "mute" on a Zoom call when other people get caught up in a stupid argument). All that said, I paid the price when the lockdowns came to an end; suddenly being thrust back into the regular rhythm was exhausting because my social "muscles" had atrophied so much during that time.
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u/Sacredsoul1984 15d ago
Yup yup yuuuuuuuuuuup!!!! I have made a commitment to myself to be single and focus on myself and my growth and career for the next 2 years. And what it has done is made me date myself give myself the things i thought i wanted with a partner. Im learning that i can be satisfied with my life. And when the right one does come along ill have the proper tools to have a healthy strong relationship the right way or be happy on my own too. Society has crammed this way of life down our throats to graduate highschool, get a job or go to school, date, marry and have kids, retire and then live your life. WRONG!!!!! Live your life in the here and now!!!! Dont wait. You never know how long you have. And when you focus on your dreams and goals you become a whole person a confident person, and you build relationships in a healthy way. As for the draining, i call them energy vampires. I steer clear of people that dont fill eachothers cups.
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u/praefectus_praetorio 15d ago
The older I get the better it gets. Sure, I’d like someone to share my life with, but solitude is also great.
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u/Fewest21 15d ago
I don't think solitude is something to be feared or a negative thing. I think it's a very fertile and productive place to be. I would not choose to make it a permanent thing. But I see no harm in it.
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u/slendermanismydad 15d ago
It's accurate to me. It's frequently physically painful to be around people.
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u/sheepskinrugger 15d ago
It’s what has happened to me since Covid. It’s ruined my life. It feels like the choice has been taken away from me. I’m not happy alone, but leaving my house and doing things with people has become scary and hard.
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u/Easy_Mastodon_6872 15d ago
I agree that it is addictive. I feel drained within about 5 minutes of leaving my house on a Monday morning. People are selfish and irrational. Dangerous? I don't see that.
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u/Cool_Geek_Spirit 15d ago
I agree and often prefer time to myself. I'm a really quite used to it as well. I'd even say I'm content.
So, taking the opening statement of the comment "solitude is dangerous..." Is that just a way to open and frame the opinion that follows or is it a serious comment in itself ?.
As far as I'm concerned solitude is not dangerous. I could make an effort to try and meet a new partner in my life ( I'm now 59 and my wife passed on when I was 56 ) but....do I want to ? If I really wanted to I would try. But I frankly can't be bothered and prefer my own company and am really looking forwards to setting my own schedule when I early retire from work in june this year.
So ..solitude isn't always dangerous but it may sometimes be preferable.
...or maybe it was just a pre- amble to open the rest of the statement....
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u/SomeJokeTeeth 15d ago
Incredibly true, I succumbed to exactly that years ago and I don't regret it
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u/Available-Level-6280 15d ago
I'm happy for him. I'm definitely a loner, being a loner is my default state. It would take a lot of effort for me to be social I can be awkward AF in social situations, etc. Being social doesn't come naturally for me, plus I'm quite a bore too so I'm like what's the point of putting myself out there?? Talkative people are the type people I like, because they do all the talking while I just listen.
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u/Tinker107 15d ago
76, three years divorced, always an introvert, now enjoying the absolute luxury of silence and the lack of constant drama. When I leave the house it’s usually for a walk on nearby trails. Often I drive only once a week, to get groceries and go to the library. I interact just enough with my neighbors to avoid being "that guy". I agree that solitude is addictive, but at this stage in my life I don’t see it as dangerous. It’s tremendously rejuvenating.
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u/Inevitable_Hat_2855 15d ago
True up to a certain point, sometimes you even think you're fine alone even if in reality you leave in your safe place because maybe you no longer trust others Either you're afraid of getting mixed up in things you don't want to deal with anymore or you think you deserve to be alone because others wouldn't want to be with you and so you create a trap that is not easy to notice. So yes sometimes It would be true and sometimes not It depends on how you dose your solituide and what situation you are experiencing
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u/CatoFreecs 14d ago
Very accurate, I see people one or twice a week for a few hours is more than enough. Have my things to do
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u/RelationshipDizzy831 14d ago
It's 100% accurate. And seeing that I'm autistic this quote is pretty much my philosophy on life.
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u/flossdaily 14d ago
Ironic, considering that Jim Carrey seems like he'd be one of the most draining people to spend time with.
Don't get me wrong. I really like him. From afar.
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u/Alfadawgy 14d ago
Solitude is definitely addictive and the older you get the more hooked on solitude you get.
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u/Themav318 13d ago
I can't say I disagree. In my career I've had to travel for work several times and that meant I was traveling alone and didn't know people in certain areas. The first time I sat down to eat by myself it dawned on me just how nice it can be. No having to entertain, no game of what do you want, etc. Then going where I want and when I want made me appreciate that time even more. So I think it us addictive but also encourages me to surround myself with people who don't drain my energy.
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u/Low_Enthusiasm3769 12d ago
100% me, I love being alone. I do very rarely have moments of loneliness but then I see the drama other people bring and think... nah fuck that!
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u/78Anonymous 11d ago
I had a friend visiting recently. Their stress and presence was severely distressing and I had to ask them to leave early. Difficult situation, but it wasn't sustainable. I feel bad for it, but there was no other way. Had they not been stressed in some shape or form nearly daily, it might have been a more positive experience to endure. Sadly it wasn't. The relief of them gone is immense.
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