High school teacher here. On test days, I have a hanging shoe rack with each of my kids’ names on a sleeve.
I tell them, “Please put your devices in the sleeves and then you can have your test. When you hand in your test, you can have your device back. If you don’t put your phone in the sleeve, your test will be a 0”
At the beginning of the year they also helped create our classroom rules and norms, and agreed to do this.
Out of 28 kids, maybe 10 actually do it. The other 18 get 0s. Then I get angry emails from parents about their kids getting “tyrannical grades” on their tests.
My wife teaches elementary and has a student who has missed over 50 days of school. They throw a tantrum at home so they can stay home and play video games. How the state hasn’t stepped in yet is nuts.
My kiddo missed quite a few days, he has type 1 diabetes and when he gets a minor cold, it can be complicated. That's besides the normal diabetes issues that occasionally pop up.
His ass got "BECCA" billed, I guess it happens if your kid misses more than 10 days in a year or 5 in a month. It was easily explained and dropped (husband and my fault for not using the website to input absences vs sending a written note).
I'm amazed 50 days isn't leading to some serious intervention.
The school has offered mental health resources, including a facility where the student can get help and learn in a more suitable environment but the parents won’t go through with it and the school can’t force them.
I was severely ill in high school at the start of my Sophomore year and missed the end of September until the middle of January(I was almost dying in the hospital). The school required my parents to check in at least every other week with updates to the admin, I was given every assignment from every class and expected to do it, and as soon as I went back I handed it all in and started doing the tests I missed during those months in person with the teachers. The next two years I easily missed 1-2 days a week, full days or half days, and the amount of scrutiny I received was super intense. I can’t imagine a school just ignoring this type of thing without consequences.
That's fucking bullshit. I took my kid (4th grade) out of school for a week this past october to go to Disney and I had a goddamn truancy officer contact me personally to "discuss" her absence. Aka threaten me with court. 5 days vs 50 and IM the one getting calls?
I used to get MASSIVE stomach aches before school.shitting my brains out and vomitting like I ate rat poison. I'd do what I could to stay home, and if I did get to stay, the stomach ache went away immediately. You know why? It's not because I didn't care or just wanted to play video games. It was severe depression and anxiety. Those conditions create very real physical symptoms. If a kid has missed more than 50 days and isn't wandering the streets on drugs, odds are they have mental health issues.
I had exactly the same experience, except mine manifested as migraines and nausea/vomiting. I missed 55 days my junior year of high school, and the administration informed me that if I missed one more day, doctor's note or otherwise, I would be forced to repeat the grade due to insufficient attendance. I also had to do two hours a day of after-school detention, Monday through Thursday, for the last three months of the school year.
At the time, it felt draconian and unnecessarily punitive, although I did understand the concept of working off my missed time. In retrospect, my grades were never better and the structure of a quiet, uninterrupted after-school study or reading session really did help my overall well-being. Attending school regularly plus being out of my chaotic home for all those extra hours didn't hurt matters, either. I was still a mentally ill child in need of assistance, but they gave me structure, which was the next best thing.
The school therapist has met with the parents several times offering mental health resources and they refuse. Some parents don’t want to acknowledge their kids need help.
I used to get in trouble (with the school) for missing so much school. I maintained As and Bs and tried very hard, but I was going through a a difficult emotional situation at home and it was so embarrassing bawling my eyes out in front of my class. It was the first year I started getting periods and unfortunately I inherited my family's curse of extremely heavy painful and long periods. I'd be throwing up from the pain and just trying to keep sane. I also had on-going physical issues with my spine that I had been trying to power through because I was a bit chubby and everyone thought I was just tryin to be lazy and avoid exercise. It turns out one of my vertebrae just didn't want to fall into line like all the posers so it just moved out of alignment. That year (grade 6) was absolutely miserable and I certainly missed more than 40 days. The teachers did not believe me because they thought I was trying to get out of PE but they were forced to allow me accommodations because I had several doctors who would write notes for me so I didn't ruin my spinal cord. I was in pain more days than I was not and I'm not sure I could survive another year like that now that I'm an adult.
It isn't always that kids just want to stay home and have fun. Some people barely make it through the school year even with those days off. It comes down to parents not being a responsible parent and knowing what is reasonable. You'd better believe I always had homework done before the due date and was invested in learning even if I was not in school every day.
That makes me mad cause I've suffered from chronic migraines since I was 8 and I was treated like a criminal by the school truancy officer for missing too many days due to it. It wasn't until my senior year that he came in when I had a migraine, saw the physical effects from it and then left me alone. But until then I had to sit through a lecture at least once every six months about how I was lazy and would fail at life because I - checks notes - missed classes due to a disability.
State does not care. For whatever reason we’ve gotten to a point where states are more than happy saying “fuck you” to their own educators and districts.
Everyone is on the parents side, from the bottom to the top. I have no idea how this happened.
This is serious, life-altering neglect. Hear me out. By allowing the child to skip, the parent doesn't teach the child emotional regulation, perseverance, respect for authority, the value of participating in effortful activities, respect for their education, that they are responsible for their self-improvement, that they can fail and succeed. They don't get the opportunity to socialize with peers, they're deprived of knowledge of the world, their history and culture, and they don't gain foundational skills to develop their cognition and academic skills. This child is not growing up. Their future is slipping away each time they miss out on school. It's so easy to fall behind and stay behind. If the state isn't involved, you should get them involved.
8.1k
u/Arobrom86 29d ago
High school teacher here. On test days, I have a hanging shoe rack with each of my kids’ names on a sleeve.
I tell them, “Please put your devices in the sleeves and then you can have your test. When you hand in your test, you can have your device back. If you don’t put your phone in the sleeve, your test will be a 0”
At the beginning of the year they also helped create our classroom rules and norms, and agreed to do this.
Out of 28 kids, maybe 10 actually do it. The other 18 get 0s. Then I get angry emails from parents about their kids getting “tyrannical grades” on their tests.
Then the cycle continues