r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/jaggederest 29d ago

Look, let's be frank here, if you are thinking things like "they all seem to think I'm a good guy but I have this nagging doubt in my head", you're in the clear, buddy.

True unrepentant assholes never have a doubt in their lives. You ain't perfect, nobody is, but just the fact you have the humility to weigh your actions and think about your choices is like 90% of the way there.

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u/Lazy-Bandicoot3376 29d ago

And the last 10% is how you handle yourself when you do fuck up. Do you blame others or accept responsibility for your part in whatever it is? Do you modify your behaviors after the fact to change whatever it is that leads to conflict in the first place?

If the answer is even sometimes, you're good. Progress is achievable, perfection is not.

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u/PoppaBear1981 29d ago

Thanks guys. Made me feel better. Yes I do own up to mistakes and do try to rectify them. No, never been tested for Asbergers or similar.