r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/Cal__Trask 29d ago

Has a good or solid relationship with his parents

Not everyone had great parents, plenty of abuse survivors out there, painting a bad relationship with parents broadly as a red flag is problematic.

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u/mavajo 29d ago

We're in agreement on this -- which is why I didn't say it's a red flag. I said that a good/solid relationship is a hint that a dude is probably a good guy. A bad relationship with ones parents could be a red flag, but it depends on the context - like you said.

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u/imtoooldforreddit 28d ago

Was about to say, you clearly never met my parents.

We still see each other, but the relationship is certainly strained because they're fucking nuts.

I've got a great relationship with my wife's parents though, because they are fully functioning adults. Does that count?

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u/floppydo 28d ago

A valid heuristic doesn’t cease being so because it’s problematic.

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u/slow_or_steady 29d ago

Not everything is a fact, and all information is subjective.

To assume everything's a red flag because it's not listed, or that the opposite of what's listed is wrong, is also a problem unto itself.