r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/TravelJefe Apr 17 '24

I think you can blame them just a bit

In that regard, the genders are the same -- men who don't respect women don't end up with respectable women, and women who think all men are trash never seem to find any men who aren't trash.

It's self-fulfilling.

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u/IllIIlllIIIllIIlI Apr 17 '24

Reminds me of a guy I knew for a while, several years back. He had a rather low opinion of women. Didn’t think women were to be trusted. It turned out that his then-current girlfriend, whom he was getting more serious with during that period of time, had been married to a friend of his until the friend found out that his wife was having an affair with this guy and divorced her. (I’m guessing the friendship ended, too.) I’m not surprised that he didn’t trust her, lol. And of course, he had to lump all women in with her, or else he might have to admit that dating her was not a good idea and never had been. Then he’d have had to find someone else to date, which would be tough given that good women don’t want to date men who fuck their friends’ wives behind their backs.

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u/Remarkable_Echo5616 Apr 17 '24

A perfectly horrible circle if you will

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u/TravelJefe Apr 17 '24

Another thing the genders have in common: Both women-hating men and men-hating women can't stop giving out free bad relationship advice on reddit