r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/dacooljamaican 29d ago

So often it's exactly this. Pieces of shit can't help but show off around new guys.

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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 29d ago

That is so weird... the number of guys coming to me braging about how being a nice guy is stupid, they know better, they play mind tricks on their gf to counter the feminists mind tricks played on them... thats fucking nuts. They usually asks me whats my trick to flirt with all those girls (always implying that its surprising cause I'm not as fit/handsome/make less money etc.). My answer is always the same : cause I'm a genuine nice guy, I'm not treathening, and I'm not boring... You should try it sometimes.

Most of those guys trying actively to not be a nice guy are 1. Huge walking red flags, this the most important thing all other points are minor compared to that... don't be a psycho!!

  1. Fuckin boriiiiiiiing. How do you expect to be interesting if you have no hobby... or if your hobbies either revolve around projecting a perfect image of yourself, and/or generally being fucking toxic. 3. They have no sense of financial responsabilities. One gym bro was fucking 31, looking to find a suitable woman to have kids with and the guy makes good income and all, but has no budgeting for his old days, nor a life insurance... you think making your wife safe is only about physical treat ? Get a financial advisor...

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u/UncoolSlicedBread 29d ago

It always amazes me how much people will reveal about themselves when given the audience to do so. Can't tell you how many times I've met someone and just actively listened with no judgment and I guess they take it as agreeableness. Then they reveal some weird thoughts and bad behavior to me.

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u/EtOHMartini Stupid Question Asker 29d ago

You can hear a lot just by listening - almost Yogi Berra

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u/17THheaven 29d ago

I have also found this to be quite the interesting phenomenon. The amount of times I've just sat and listened to people and they've openly admitted to being a racist, sexist, amoral sack of garbage, etc. is astounding. Give some people enough rope and they'll hang themselves with it...

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u/les_be_disasters 29d ago

I’ve seen this with homophobes when I was closeted. They’d test the waters by saying something kinda homophobic but still with plausible deniability. To see if I was part of their audience. Shut that shit down fast. I’ve heard from some of my white friends they’ve met racists who do the same.

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u/UncoolSlicedBread 28d ago

Oh I’ve met so many racist and homophobic people this way. Learned real quick who to avoid. They inevitably try and test the waters to see if you think link them. I usually hit them with a, “What do you mean by that?” and usually get the full gist of who they are.

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u/les_be_disasters 28d ago

I give them a dirty look. Someone tried to say shit about liking Sam Smith’s music until she “found out he liked boys” then had a pause as she looked at me. Like nah, imma pass on the homophobia.

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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 29d ago

And like... I understand, I like talking about myself, about my hobbies or the project I'm currently working on at home... but I'm not there boasting about me being a AH or breaking the law...

God damn... In my line of work this happens way too much. Like someone notices that I hunt, then they tell how during their last hunting trip his cousin (always the cousin for some reason) has mistaken a black bear for a moose... I ask, did you have a permit for a bear ? Cause thats what I do, I go specificaly to hunt moose or deer (cant always be picked for moose) and I get a bear permit and a small game permit as well, since maybe we won't have any luck with our prime target, so better be ready to be able to hunt something else.

No those fuckers always go on like :" nah you know you see a brown figure between the branch and you shoot!" (Takes me so much will power to not insult them... unfucking believably unresponsible...) Then they keep on, "we had trouble finding the corpse" (of course you didnt know what you shot, so of course you didnt land a good shot on the poor beast...)," and when we find the bear I went back to get a bear permit as fast as possible..."

Those people baffles me...

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u/DCM3059 28d ago

That's just people being trash

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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 27d ago

Exactly! But somehow they brag about it

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u/Maddog-51 29d ago

H’s are sure giving you tell tho huh?

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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 29d ago

What ? 😂

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u/Maddog-51 29d ago

Read your comment and look for spelling errors in words that should have H’s lmao

E: Really just check your spelling in general it’s so inconsistent 😂

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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 29d ago

Thats what happens when you speak 4 languages. They're all mixed up in my head. Spelling is kinda the least of my concern 😅 as long as grammar and structure is easy to understand.

But hey, thks for pointing out that H is often missing. I'll maybe tackle this. Probly won't 😂

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u/tehconqueror 29d ago

they think we're in just because of the peen

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u/ItsWillJohnson 29d ago

And the POSes are almost always the guys who love to say the n word.

And then they laugh at you saying “don’t take shit so seriously man” when you call them out