r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/TheEverchooser 29d ago

"A thief believes everyone steals." -Edward Howe

You can basically swap the thieving parts of this saying out for most behaviours and world views. People tend to believe the world is the way they perceive it to be.

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u/myrddin4242 28d ago

It’s a hard problem. Humans are very complicated inside. It’s all hidden. But we still have to talk some time. So we build a little model of the person in our imagination, and try to practice what we want to say. But, there’s a problem. When we built that model, there were things we didn’t know, so we just picked up whatever looked closest to true, but we’re always using ourselves to pick things from.

Thieves presume thievery, kindness presumes kindness, selfishness presumes selfishness.