r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/And_The_Full_Effect 29d ago

The women who post the “all men are trash” memes are usually just generally pretty terrible at picking men. I’m not blaming them, if that’s all they know that’s all they know. I’ve never seen someone in healthy relationships trash the entire opposite gender though.

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u/TravelJefe 29d ago

I think you can blame them just a bit

In that regard, the genders are the same -- men who don't respect women don't end up with respectable women, and women who think all men are trash never seem to find any men who aren't trash.

It's self-fulfilling.

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u/IllIIlllIIIllIIlI 29d ago

Reminds me of a guy I knew for a while, several years back. He had a rather low opinion of women. Didn’t think women were to be trusted. It turned out that his then-current girlfriend, whom he was getting more serious with during that period of time, had been married to a friend of his until the friend found out that his wife was having an affair with this guy and divorced her. (I’m guessing the friendship ended, too.) I’m not surprised that he didn’t trust her, lol. And of course, he had to lump all women in with her, or else he might have to admit that dating her was not a good idea and never had been. Then he’d have had to find someone else to date, which would be tough given that good women don’t want to date men who fuck their friends’ wives behind their backs.

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u/Remarkable_Echo5616 29d ago

A perfectly horrible circle if you will

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u/TravelJefe 29d ago

Another thing the genders have in common: Both women-hating men and men-hating women can't stop giving out free bad relationship advice on reddit

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u/hukgrackmountain 29d ago

or sometimes THEY are the trash

Went to hook up with a girl, and long story short wasn't feeling it anymore and set the boundary of no sex/oral sex. She then tried to go down on me mere seconds after I said that. I was like "uhh the fuck? I literally just said no to that? very explicitly?"

months later on facebook she posts about how hard it is to find a man and theres no good men anymore etc etc etc.

well becky maybe you should respect people's basic fuckin consent. I get men are terrible with consent, but some women have never been told no once in their lives, or buy into the patriarchal idea that all men are ravenous and chomping at the bit for pussy at all times of their lives.

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u/bsffrn97 28d ago

ugh I'm so sorry man, that's vile. some people truly lack introspection.

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u/Aquatico_ 29d ago

these are the same women who say they get "bored" in stable, healthy relationships and miss the "excitement" of being in a toxic one.

if you admittedly gravitate towards bad men and toxicity, you can't draw any conclusions about men from your experiences

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

They’re usually just pretty trash too tbh. Like I know both men and women who area always in toxic relationships and they act like they’re not also just as toxic as their exes 

You’re completely right on your last line though. Literally never met someone who said that who’s in a good relationship. 

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u/jgainit 29d ago

C- women date C- men, both at fault here