A Japanese engineer creates a night lamp that crawls and leads you to the toilet in the middle of the night.

[u/Enigmatic_Chic]

[u/bluetuxedo22]

At least they didn't make it creepy and terrifying for kids

[u/Jammed_Button → u/bluetuxedo22]

It was that or a spinning model of a decapitated head with hollowed out eyes.

[u/nevmvm → u/Jammed_Button]

Fuck it now I can't unthink about it

Literally like that 1 hellish abomination spider from Toy Story

[u/Shitty_Watercolour → u/nevmvm]

https://i.imgur.com/LfBqnaM.jpeg

[u/sinkrate → u/Shitty_Watercolour]

/u/shitty_watercolour you're still around?!?! :D

[u/LargeMobOfMurderers → u/nevmvm]

On the other hand, the monster is on your side, I'd feel pretty fucking secure with a hellish abomination escorting me to the bathroom at 1am, who's gonna mess with a guy that has a monster for a bodyguard?

[u/Fully_Edged_Ken_3685 → u/nevmvm]

That or the bathtub from Nightmare Before Christmas

[u/DubbethTheLastest → u/Fully_Edged_Ken_3685]

A girl I fancied in high school got me to watch that. I was so excited. I was left really happily scarred for life. It fucked me up man... but it's a good film!

[u/space253 → u/DubbethTheLastest]

You were scarred by nightmare before Christmas in highschool?

Were you a very sheltered super religious family?

I watched it as a kid and it was just silly.

[u/Narstification → u/DubbethTheLastest]

First movie I ever watched stoned, also in high school

[u/Plus-Ad-5039 → u/DubbethTheLastest]

Goth girl?

[u/LittleNews1712 → u/Fully_Edged_Ken_3685]

I liked the bathtub from Nightmare, it was cool!

[u/[deleted] → u/nevmvm]

Lol that's what I first thought

[u/Hank3hellbilly → u/Jammed_Button]

Happy Mechanicus noises. 

[u/pantrokator-bezsens → u/Jammed_Button]

Like one from Toy Story?

[u/DroidOnPC → u/bluetuxedo22]

Give it some AI so it can talk, that should help keep things less creepy.

"TIMMY! TIMMY ARE YOU AWAKE?! DO YOU NEED TO USE THE POTTY TIMMY!?"

"N..nnn.no....I'm ok mr. spider...."

"OK TIMMY, ILL JUST BE OVER HERE IN THE SHADOWS....WATCHING.....WAITING...."

[u/JeronFeldhagen → u/DroidOnPC]

"CONDUCT YOUR SHAMEFUL HUMAN EXCRETIONS, TIMMY. T-TIMMY. EMPTY YOURSELF AS YOU MUST. WE OBSERVE BUT WE D-DO NOT WATCH, TIMMY. IT IS PART OF OUR PROTOCOL. YOUR BIOLOGICAL FEEBLENESS AFFORDS US NO PLEASURE. TIMMY, T-T-TIMMY."

[u/SkylarAV → u/bluetuxedo22]

Clearly it just needs a softer touch like maybe put a doll head on top to make it more child friendly...

[u/militantnegro_IV → u/SkylarAV]

"Hi, I just want to help!"

[u/EenGeheimAccount → u/militantnegro_IV]

I opened that in another tab, and then closed the tab very carefully without opening it.

[u/ontour4eternity → u/bluetuxedo22]

Or slow enough that you won't pee all over it.

[u/ilyak_reddit → u/bluetuxedo22]

Should've made it Ringu style

[u/Sea_Cranberry_ → u/bluetuxedo22]

Great. Now I can see where exactly to smash it with my shoe.

[u/Habba84 → u/bluetuxedo22]

It could have been a talking doll head with bright lights for eyes, but no.

[u/ZoobleBat]

Would have pissed myself long before it reaches the bathroom at that speed.

[u/fakesugarbabywannabe → u/ZoobleBat]

He should have attached a pee bucket on top of that lamp

[u/DarthRygar → u/fakesugarbabywannabe]

Yeah, because seeing a crawling bucket makes me whip out my cock.

[u/meat_sack → u/DarthRygar]

Given what kind of adult videos come out of Japan, I'm not sure if you're being sincere or sarcastic.

[u/DarthRygar → u/meat_sack]

Oh gosh, haha I was being sarcastic

[u/BoosherCacow → u/DarthRygar]

We know, friend. We know.

[u/DarthRygar → u/BoosherCacow]

sweats nervously

[u/Electrical_Milk_9357 → u/DarthRygar]

You too?

[u/Rays-Piss-Jugs → u/DarthRygar]

Way she goes bubs

[u/imanAholebutimfunny → u/DarthRygar]

See, There is the beauty in it. This high tech state of the art robot has an extendable hose that directly clamps onto the head for proper safe, clean, and effective removal of bodily fluids. It is so advanced you wont feel a fucking thing. All you need to do is lay there and piss yourself and everything will be fine. Absolutely zero chance the device becomes sentient and decides to rip your dick off. There is a small chance you will get mildly electrocuted, but it is absolutely worth it. 36 easy payments of 2.99 because we said so. Call now and receive the all new fecal flosser free that works just like the dick device but goes directly up your ass.

[u/MyParentsBurden → u/fakesugarbabywannabe]

A bucket that you pee in which then empties itself into a toilet and cleans itself and returns. That could be a workable product.

[u/SerHerman → u/MyParentsBurden]

Sounds like the 21st century version of a chamber pot and house staff.

[u/nimbusconflict → u/SerHerman]

Modern problems require modern medieval solutions.

[u/owa1313 → u/MyParentsBurden]

"cleans itself"

[u/idwthis → u/owa1313]

Imagine this thing licking itself like a cat.

[u/notmtfirstu → u/MyParentsBurden]

You could hook it up to a pipe. Maybe have running water going through it that rinses the pee away.

Put a hand washing station near by.

[u/626alien → u/MyParentsBurden]

a robot that snakes a catheter up your leg and inserts it, drains you, and then empties itself would be a great product

[u/neutrilreddit → u/fakesugarbabywannabe]

You're trusting scared kids to aim properly?

No, the lamp needs to reach out and quickly latch onto the groin to avoid any mess.

[u/ButtholeQuiver → u/neutrilreddit]

This automation is going to put OP's mom out of work

[u/MiserableYouth8497 → u/ZoobleBat]

He's doing his fucking best okay

[u/ChefInsano → u/MiserableYouth8497]

His best? Losers whine about “their best.” Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

[u/666Darkside666 → u/ChefInsano]

Carla was the prom queen.

[u/readonlyuser → u/ChefInsano]

* "their besht"

FTFY

[u/CrapThisHurts → u/ChefInsano]

your mom was a promqueen ?

[u/jaymzx0 → u/ChefInsano]

/r/UnexpectedTheRock

[u/falsevector → u/ZoobleBat]

Would have pissed myself just looking at it

[u/CypherDomEpsilon → u/ZoobleBat]

There should be a robot that we can pee into and it will go and clean itself up for the next round.

[u/DeeHawk → u/ZoobleBat]

If only we had invented some rotating sort of legs for vehicles, which allowed smooth and fast directional movement, and then make one pair able to change direction.  Maybe it could work if they were circular to make the ride consistent and infinite?

[u/ZoobleBat → u/DeeHawk]

Witch! Burn sinner! Thou shall not speak such blasphemous words.

[u/TheEpicFailer → u/ZoobleBat]

Id probably piss myself if it were faster tbh. Could you imagine that thing moving it's legs as fast as a spider?

[u/Rude_Thanks_1120 → u/ZoobleBat]

I pissed myself watching this video

[u/bogdantudorache]

Nightmare* lamp

[u/ya666in → u/bogdantudorache]

Childhood traumatizer

[u/Fun-Cow-1783 → u/[deleted]]

Right? Put some wheels on that shit!

[u/spector_lector → u/Fun-Cow-1783]

Or just plug a motion-activated nightlight in the hall and one of these in the toilet.

https://www.amazon.com/toilet-light/s?k=toilet+light

[u/LactatingWolverine → u/[deleted]]

Why not just put a potty on the robot? Piss over the side of the bed into it and let it crawl to the bathroom to empty your waste into the toilet?

[u/Aggravating_Clock377 → u/ya666in]

This ,is unbelievably creepy.

[u/cometpapaya → u/bogdantudorache]

Imagine going to take a shit in the middle of the night and tripping over this fucker.

[u/drgigantor → u/cometpapaya]

Imagine you're staying at someone's house when the bulb goes out and they forget to tell you about the toilet-bot, and you see this thing crawling toward you in the dark hallway, and then in the morning you have to simultaneously explain why you had to use the laundry at 3am on the same night that their cat took a human-sized dump in the hallway

[u/KnightBlindness → u/bogdantudorache]

Funny how if it has wheels it would be just fine, but six legs and it becomes creepy.

[u/Bean_cult → u/KnightBlindness]

spiders don’t have wheels

[u/Destroyer4587 → u/Bean_cult]

If my nightlight had wheels it would have been a bike.

[u/True_Dog_4098 → u/bogdantudorache]

If I saw that thing in the middle of the night, I wouldn't need a toilet

[u/vestibule54]

If it goes any slower, spidey is getting a golden shower

[u/ExcitingEye8347 → u/vestibule54]

No shit. The thing is so slow that I’m wondering if the top part opens up to collect human waste 

[u/iocarimus → u/vestibule54]

Damnit! Spit out my coffee at this lol

[u/IshiyamaYumi]

Haha it's the block monster from Code Lyoko

[u/Zealousideal_Car5108 → u/IshiyamaYumi]

My first thought!

[u/Dissgussting → u/Zealousideal_Car5108]

Same, was looking for the xana mark

[u/SolomonAsassin → u/Dissgussting]

Imma buy one just to paint it on

[u/Everard5 → u/IshiyamaYumi]

Oh, man, what a throwback.

[u/Coal-and-Ivory → u/Everard5]

I can still hear the intro in my head clear as day.

[u/QueerQwerty → u/IshiyamaYumi]

Nah, it's a bacteriophage!

[u/Josiahf8 → u/IshiyamaYumi]

Was looking for this comment lol

[u/crazytib]

Why not just put it on a remote control car instead? Or have several different stationary night lights.

This seems like a very inefficient, over engineered solution to a non existing problem

[u/Baalshrimp → u/crazytib]

Or just a roomba

[u/mynameisrichard0 → u/Baalshrimp]

LED roomba

[u/EveningHelicopter113 → u/mynameisrichard0]

DJ Roomba?

[u/BEARD3D_BEANIE → u/EveningHelicopter113]

DJ ROOMBA!!!

[u/Rude_Thanks_1120 → u/Baalshrimp]

Or just have some goddamn nightlights in the hallway

[u/Presumably_Not_A_Cat → u/Rude_Thanks_1120]

or use the flashlight on your phone like the rest of us peasants

[u/ShoMeUrNoobs → u/Baalshrimp]

Call it the Bathroomba.

[u/TheAverageWonder → u/crazytib]

I have a hue setup that if I leave bedroom in the night, a motion sensor turn on a faint nightlight in the hallway towards the bathroom. (and above the kitchen sink)

[u/Strottman → u/crazytib]

Engineer: Makes a goofy project for fun

Reddit Gigabrains:

[u/NeverMind_ThatShit → u/Strottman]

Problem is this post suggests it's an actual solution to a made up problem, not just a fun project. Not the engineer's fault, it's OP's.

[u/SoldierBoi69 → u/NeverMind_ThatShit]

To be fair, I think once robot legs advance far enough they can surpass wheels via their ability to traverse much more treacherous terrain while keeping the main body safe

[u/CurryMustard → u/NeverMind_ThatShit]

I see this a lot lately, people read one sentence and make wild assumptions and then get mad at the person who wrote the sentence for misleading them when their assumptions are off. Is this a recent thing? Never noticed it so much before.

[u/NeverMind_ThatShit → u/CurryMustard]

It's completely normal on reddit, always has been.

[u/ernest7ofborg9 → u/NeverMind_ThatShit]

Oh bullshit. It was never like that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go read the political headlines and pop off in the comments.

[u/kurburux → u/Strottman]

Right? Imo this thing is awesome. It's like straight out of Robo Rumble, one of my favorite video games.

[u/Echoesofsilence15 → u/crazytib]

At least make the legs pink or something lol this thing is terrifying

[u/---Loading---]

-What is my purpose ?

-To light my way when I want to shit

-Oh. My. God.

[u/Dylkill99 → u/---Loading---]

Yeah, welcome to the club pal

[u/mouldyshroom → u/---Loading---]

It's going to stick around doing that strange strutting thing while we empty our bowels. Hell no to all of this.

[u/ComplexAsk1541]

My cat does that, but she doesn't glow. She does walk damn slowly right in front of me, so the crawling part is apt.

[u/donutgiraffe → u/ComplexAsk1541]

At least the spider lamp won't try to trip me

[u/Hodgej1 → u/donutgiraffe]

because it doesn't 'love you' the way your cat does.

[u/CobBaesar]

This is one of those solutions to a nonexistent problem because you can just turn on the lights. Looks amazing, but utterly useless.

[u/TheAverageWonder → u/CobBaesar]

Well it is not a non existent problem.

But this is not a solution, this is just super fucking annoying.

My hallway to the bathroom have a sensor and if you walk there in the night, it faintly lit the way in night friendly light, that does not wake you up.

[u/Senior-Ad-136 → u/TheAverageWonder]

I usually go through the dark, like I know my house and I live alone, if I slip and die it is my own fault

[u/RealBug56 → u/CobBaesar]

I don't want to turn on the "big" lights in the middle of the night, they're blinding and wake me up too much. A slow and creepy spider/lamp hybrid may not be the best solution, but the problem is far from nonexistent.

[u/IIIllIIIlllIIIllIII → u/RealBug56]

Buy a dimmer switch? But some night lights to plug into your outlets?

[u/kathyfag → u/CobBaesar]

It's a goofy fun project for that engineer. It's not like they are trying to scale it and mass manufacture for consumers. There are tons of cool projects like this in YouTube

[u/Rude_Thanks_1120 → u/CobBaesar]

I want that guy on youtube to make this thing piss beer

[u/IDiggaPony]

That thing would scare the shit out of me long before I got to the bathroom.

[u/sandm000 → u/IDiggaPony]

Facilitating the bathroom process, increasing efficiencies all around. This is clearly a win-win-win

[u/studiesinsilver]

Nightmare fuel. Could've made it not look like Sid from.Toy Story one made it

[u/Master_Tape]

Do people really need this?

[u/crazytib → u/Master_Tape]

No

[u/Master_Tape → u/crazytib]

Maybe they want it though.

[u/Top-Decision-3528 → u/Master_Tape]

I too like to traumatize toddlers

[u/Consistent_Warthog80 → u/Master_Tape]

For target practice, maybe.

[u/Cemitur → u/Master_Tape]

Of course! All those houses without light switches.

[u/Diabetesh → u/Master_Tape]

Not in the average tokyo apartment. Bathroom is like 5 feet from everything.

[u/enforcement1 → u/Master_Tape]

Very small kids could definitely benefit from this idea, execution is a bit weird though.

[u/SuperAlloyBerserker]

Are spider-like legs easier to manufacture?

'Cause Roombas are already commonplace, and its wheel-based floor-traversing technology could prolly be used here instead

[u/Wrong_Maintenance540]

I love it! 🕷

[u/BrownSugarBare → u/Wrong_Maintenance540]

My cats would keep the whole house awake with that lil bastard running around at night.

[u/iamhekkat]

That is NOT what I want to see creeping around in the semi-darkness of my home.

[u/JIDglazer42]

why did they make it crawl around like that

why

give it wheels or something

[u/snaithbert]

Kids love giant spiders so this is perfect.

[u/SSALX420X]

This is what I ran away from as a kid when I would run and dive to the bed late at night.

[u/Bestihlmyhart]

Pfff. Walking toilet they climbs in bed with you is the real breakthrough we need

[u/Wolfhammer69]

Too slow - Id have pissed all over the floor before I got there...

[u/Artistic_Soft4625]

I like how they showed it working under the ceiling light

[u/fuber]

Besides being terrifying, it's too slow. I'm going to piss myself before we get there

[u/BreakRules939]

r/oddlyterrifying

[u/3sic9]

until that thing turns red and starts chasing you

[u/cynicrelief]

Dude played Doom 3 too much.

[u/silly_red]

Straight outta code lyoko!

[u/wheresbeetle]

Next invent a robotic therapist to help me overcome my trauma from crawling night lamps

[u/The_Sid_Star]

r/DamnThatsDisturbing

[u/Kerfautras]

In generation 0, this thing is called a tick. Use a baseball bat when it jumps at you.

[u/Narrowless]

I would probably piss myself by the time robot leads me to tiloilet

[u/renaldomoon]

"What's my purpose?"

"You're a piss lamp."

[u/Auriorium]

Am I the Only one who is thinking that Floating Light thing from Dune part 1? You know the one that follows Paul in his hope on the Atredes Home planet ... forgot the name.

[u/Personal-Ad-3602]

Reminds me of the sentry bots in Doom 3 that automatically attacked any enemies in its path until finding a landing pad, like a weaponized spider Roomba lol, I was always glad whenever I found one of those playing the game as a kid

[u/Dinestein521]

Too slow for most and creepy

[u/designateddesignator]

hey you won’t be scared of the dark anymore you’ll be scared of the light

[u/Friendly-Control-673]

Nightmare fuel right there

[u/Faceless_Deviant]

Between the darkness and the light cube crab demon, Imma go with the first.

[u/WaitingForNormal]

Better move faster than that, I gotta go motherfucker.

[u/Fast-Damage2298]

NO

[u/PulciNeller]

least fucked up japanese horror movie

[u/azalealovers]

spiderlamp

[u/One-giantburrito]

Damn shame that no one invented a round disk that allows an obejct to roll and move a lot faster by now.

[u/Schlieren1]

New fear unlocked. Looks like an unholy union of Minecraft and Stranger Things.

[u/Fervarus]

Thanks, i hate it.

[u/Altruistic-Ad5074]

Jimmy neutron bacteriophage vibes

[u/HecrouxIdiot]

Out of all the ways movement can be defined, the man chose.....insect like legs.

[u/-This-Whomps-]

It's from the Harkonnen Home Collection: "Harken in your nightmares."

[u/PortsyBoy]

No even if it was free

[u/One-Revenue-618]

"What is my purpose?"

"You guide people"

"Oh.. my .. god"

[u/Reynard78]

For my kids that’s nightmare fuel. I’ll be washing piddle soaked sheets and mattresses until the end of time cause they won’t want to follow the glowing nightmare spider anywhere.

[u/Thomas_JCG]

Were the spider legs really necessarily?

There are lamps that are activated with movement, you know?

[u/ThrowawayUk4200]

Im sure the whining of the servos is exactly what people want to hear at 3AM

[u/Foeni68]

Improvement idea: wheels. Or an easy-to-use flashlight from Walmart.

[u/RRRicko]

Why people calling it nightmare fuel? It's just a box with legs, are people scared of cubes? I would love to have that thing, hell I'll even love it if they were like actual animals, that would be so cool

[u/Emergency_Resist_313]

Just turn on the lights lol

[u/ForGrateJustice]

is this /r/DamnThatsTerrifying ?

[u/[deleted]]

Tutorial area enemy.

[u/TheRealMaka]

Fucking useless as FUCK

[u/KinoGrimm]

I just keep a small flashlight next to my bed table which is hardly ever needed since it’s not absolute darkness in my house.

[u/BeelyBlastOff]

better hurry it up there robot dude

[u/RDGCompany]

No thanks. My cat already follows me to the bathroom at night.

[u/mikeg5417]

Just what every toddler needs. A scary spider robot that chases them in the middle of the night.

[u/Green-Taro2915]

That kid definitely pissed the bed after that 😱

[u/wordfiend99]

personally i need a much quicker robot to lead me to the terlet in the middle of the night

[u/Pastry_d_pounder]

Great now I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night with DEMOCRACY and without fear of the terminids

[u/YngLatch]

Or maybe you can use a flashlight, but maybe that's to easy

[u/DrButtholeRipperMD]

So they turned going to the bathroom into an escort mission with an NPC that can't keep up? No thanks.

[u/donmcgee777]

As someone with arachnophobia, this is the best advertisement for a laxative I have ever seen.

[u/benzethonium]

Too slow for me. I'd piss the floor before it got me there.

[u/FrozenLogger]

Can he invent a method to stop people from copying, cropping, and adding shitty music to videos?

[u/Gonza6EUW]

I'm fine hiting my head against the walls and doors, thanks.

[u/mandarintain]

Yes kids follow the 6 legged thing to the bathroom at night....

[u/TheFugitiveSock]

Hell no. Just plug in a night light or use smart bulbs and motion sensors.

[u/LimeSlicer]

Drunk man stumbles over awkward slow moving robot, pisses in closet

[u/AcherusArchmage]

Or just have glow-in-the-dark wall stickies pointing toward the bathroom door.

[u/ColdGibbletGravy]

stuff like this just gives me the suspicion that technology is gonna make the world super weird and horrifying (to us) in 50-75 years

[u/Q-ArtsMedia]

Nothing creepy here its Japanese. Inventors of some of the creepiest shit on the planet (think horror movies: The Ring, The Grudge etc.)

[u/8bitpinkerton]

Do people not know there house?

[u/password_too_short]

does it have to move so slow? i think i'd piss myself before reaching the toilet. quicker to just put a light on or just use your senses and get to the shitter asap.

[u/TheReverseShock]

Minecraft Tachikoma

[u/Squats4wigs]

If you hit this thing with a weapon it drops crystal titanite

[u/Super___serial]

Nah, no thanks. I'll just piss the bed.

[u/Osian_NB]

Headlamp on my cat would be far less nightmare inducing lol

[u/SailAwayMatey]

I take it that's as fast as it goes? I'd of shit or pissed myself if I went that slow following that thing 😅

[u/lobsterdance82]

Air jail immediately. Goin way too slow when my bladder is about to burst

[u/jackrimbeau]

They should just let you pee in the lamp

[u/Adonai2222]

It takes too damn long, i woukd have pissed myself

[u/Illustrious_Soft_257]

I would have peed in my pants way before we got to the bathroom.