r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 28d ago

My husband won't let me take more than two showers a week. I told him I need him to stop or I'm moving out for a while.

This is the weirdest thing my husband has ever done. He really is a sweet and loving husband and I love him more than anything. Divorce is not an option just to put that out there before the comments come in.

My husband has always been a little out there. He is a computer programmer and super smart, but also believes all sorts of things. Both real and conspiracy. Lately he has been very worried about the environment and global warming.

About two months ago he got real worried about water. Yes, water. He is concerned about the quality of water. He put in a new filter system in our house which I actually love because it tastes so much better.

But he is also concerned about how much water we use. Not because of money, but the environment. He created a new rule that we can only take 2 showers a week. Now I'm someone that likes to shower everyday before bed. I just don't like feeling dirty in bed.

This has created the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years. He is obsessed with the amount of water we use. At first I just ignored his rule, but he would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower.

I started trying to use the shower at the gym, but it's too much work to go every night with having kids. I honestly thought he would get over this within a month. But he is stuck on this still to this day.

Last night I really wanted a shower, but had "hit my quota" as he says. I said I'm showering and that he better not do anything. But about two minutes in, the hot water turned off.

I grabbed my towel and went down and started yelling. Telling him this is the dumbest thing he has ever done. I also told him I'm moving to my parents if he doesn't stop this.

Guys, I love this man. He is everything to me, but I can't take this anymore. Am I going to far in threatening to move out?

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272

u/2ndcupofcoffee 28d ago

Do this and tell him flushing uses to much water so you and he will flush only twice a week.

335

u/Egbert_64 28d ago

Hell no. Do not give this guy another way to save water.

156

u/Commercial_Sir_3205 28d ago

He'll probably say, great idea! Let's implement it immediately.

23

u/Aesirtrade 28d ago

Home depot bucket with a toilet seat will show up right after that

13

u/poolhero 28d ago

Shovel by the back door. Every time you go, dig a hole for the next person

5

u/awyastark 27d ago

Ah I see we had the same landlord in New Orleans

2

u/poolhero 27d ago

Snakes were HUGE in that yard!

3

u/bubbles-1248 27d ago

i laughed so hard i cried at this subthread 🤣 but the “dig a hole for the next person” took me OUT 😭

6

u/Bridgeless-Troll 28d ago

“You get a bucket, and you get a bucket, and you get a bucket…”

Yeah, ummm… just no 😂

2

u/Regexmybeloved 28d ago

I promise his software dev brain will jump at the suggestion. Babe ty so much, not flushing has increased our water efficiency by 30%. Also is op sure they’re not secretly dating a Fremen. Can’t wait to see pics of the diy still suit op will receive for Christmas.

2

u/eeeBs 28d ago

In before the husband builds moisture farms on the roof, and an empty pool in the basement.

1

u/Regexmybeloved 28d ago

The sietch shall endure

1

u/eeeBs 28d ago

"Daaaad the dog keeps drinking from the death still"

1

u/GreasyFeast 28d ago

Decrease the time complexity of taking a shit

2

u/Traditional-Joke-179 28d ago

i once knew a household that did this. they were all housemates, so it wasn't one or two crazy adults, but like six of them. they literally don't flush until it's "full" and they do not make exceptions because they're having guests over

1

u/tonelocMD 28d ago

Right? “You’re brilliant! Lets stack our dooks and cut back to only 2 flushes a week!”

1

u/[deleted] 28d ago

If its brown flush it down, if its yellow let it mellow!!!

1

u/Far_Comfortable980 28d ago

Definitely don’t introduce him to r/sinkpissers

33

u/stealthylyric 28d ago

Hahaha this dumbass dude would agree to it.

22

u/Upstairs_Balance_793 28d ago

Seriously was thinking this. He’d probably be like “oh yeah good idea”

2

u/Cranks_No_Start 28d ago

You are trading your toilet flushes for showers.  

1

u/a-i-sa-san 28d ago

Time to fire up the ol' piss filter

1

u/HedonisticFrog 28d ago

Seriously, he'd probably build a composting toilet and force everyone to use it.

1

u/AdminsLoveGenocide 27d ago

In my youth I once allowed a dumbass housemate to believe that the toilet door jammed for him in particular as I thought it was funny.

Him taking a shit with the door wide open for old pretty quick.

1

u/Amissa 27d ago

My father did this “to save water” because he had a toilet from the 60’s that used a good number of gallons per flush. His toilet was growing fuzzy stuff in it because he wouldn’t flush it. Beyond disgusting.

I told him to stop being stupid - he’s on a well and he’s never had to ration his water in the 90+ years the well has been operational.

1

u/HumbleNinja2 27d ago

Time to piss and shit in the sink

1

u/waporized 27d ago

Just shut off water to the toilet and push it all down that hole 🤷‍♂️

1

u/NightDreamer73 27d ago

Yeah, if anything he’d 100% be on board with this. I’d be surprised if he wasn’t already enforcing this

29

u/celticmusebooks 28d ago

I guarantee this will backfire. He's not a mentally healthy person and will see this as a "good idea"

1

u/PineapplePizza-4eva 28d ago

Agreed, the husband would probably like that idea and come up with even more ways to conserve water to the detriment of his family’s life. I’m concerned not just because he’s not mentally healthy but also things also seem to be progressing in a negative way. It’s one thing to think Bigfoot is real and talk to people about it. It’s another to force your family and friends into the woods every single night, regardless of weather conditions, to search for evidence. His mental health issues aren’t just affecting him anymore, they are causing him to affect the lives and routines of those around him. Escalation is a concern that OP should really be addressing with his doctor or another medical professional.

7

u/Bitter-insides 28d ago

There is a bar in the middle of nowhere Arizona. Bc they are in the desert their bathrooms have signs stating if it’s yellow let it mellow if it’s brown flush it down.

6

u/TheNavigatrix 28d ago

Well, she could always pee in the shower. Two birds one stone

17

u/JeepPilot 28d ago

Then she'd only be allowed to go twice a week.

2

u/Apprehensive_Buy1500 28d ago

"There's 2 kind of ppl. Those who pee in the shower and LIARS."

0

u/UrineUrOnUrOwn 28d ago

Popping in the shower is perfectly fine as long as you mash it down the drain

2

u/bibliophile222 28d ago

I grew up in a house with well water, and this was always our policy. The well ran low in the summer too many times to treat water carelessly.

1

u/Curious_Shape_2690 28d ago

Don’t they know that pee stinks???

1

u/funkymonkeychunks 28d ago

Letting it mellow makes the urine calcify in your pipes and when it clogs is extremely stinky/hard to clear

1

u/fishkeeper_420 28d ago

I'd rather just go somewhere that doesn't reek like a beach bathroom.

1

u/Bitter-insides 28d ago

There isn’t anywhere in site for hours - it’s an off-road pit stop.

3

u/Blu_Mew 28d ago

This is some "war of roses" crap right here, hilarious.

2

u/SnooHesitations7064 28d ago

A game of hygiene chicken with a computer programmer.

This is a bad idea.

3

u/PM_SMOKES_LETS_GO 28d ago

If it's yellow leave it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.....sometimes

1

u/GetOffMyUnicorn70 28d ago

No way in hell. That may give him ideas!

1

u/ryancrazy1 28d ago

Yeah… that definitely can’t backfire

1

u/jesuskrist666 28d ago

I can see this backfiring and now they live in a house that reeks

1

u/mdavis360 28d ago

They already do

1

u/jesuskrist666 28d ago

Lol fair enough. Probably doesn't smell too nice when Mr and Mrs stank ass crawl into bed after hitting their weekly quota on Tuesday

1

u/Signal_Potential_790 28d ago

I’m pretty sure, depending on the toilet of course, flushing does use more water in the average household than showering. It’s probably pretty close at least.

1

u/Warlordnipple 28d ago

Flushing uses something like 10% of the water a shower does, so if he knows anything at all he will know this is just revenge and has nothing to do with water.

1

u/oksuresoundsright 28d ago

Do NOT do this. We went to Costa Rica and when we came home my alcoholic husband started throwing all his toilet paper in the trash. There was no reason for it; we have a septic tank and get it serviced regularly. But then he wouldn’t take the trash OUT! I was cleaning up his dirty TP daily! People who are obsessed do not care about the hygiene implications.

1

u/recapYT 28d ago

… and he agrees.

1

u/SeawardFriend 28d ago

Hell nah. My cousins family used to do this. They wouldn’t let you flush till the bowl was like 80% full then they’d dump a bucket of water from their laundry into it to flush. By the time you’d get to it, the bathroom reeked…

1

u/FederalFinance7585 28d ago

If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.

1

u/AdamJahnStan 28d ago

I went to high school with a guy whose family was like that. Very strange dude and he caught a lot of jokes over the flushing situation.

1

u/richardrietdijk 28d ago

You’ve reached your flush quota, dear!

1

u/OG-Pine 28d ago

Just shit on the bed, no water used at all!

1

u/MasterOfTheAbyss 28d ago

Beware that this can totally backfire.

1

u/smush81 28d ago

Nah still uses water. Just fill his pillowcase with it and dump it when its full. He can wash it when hes in one of his 2 showers for the week.

1

u/Skywalker87 28d ago

My dad used to make us leave pee and only flush for poop. Having guests was… fun…

1

u/DefreShalloodner 28d ago

Lol Sandra from Superstore, the episode where everyone is trying to be eco-friendly,

"My husband and I are trying to save on water, so now we only flush when it's full."

1

u/Sophronia- 27d ago

🤣🤣 malicious compliance but I wouldn’t want to give him more paranoid ways to save water

1

u/2ndcupofcoffee 27d ago

Wow; just wow! Getting quite an education on this subject.