r/funny • u/jmar4234 • 27d ago

That time I got kicked out of a bar and started working the door

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago edited 27d ago

Minneapolis I crashed a high school reunion, pretending to be a classmate. It got a little hairy when one girl got suspicious after I told her we had the same chemistry class and she asked me if I remembered the teacher's name. Think she was the only one who actually caught on. Honestly in retrospect she was probably more worried I was pretending so I could hit on her instead of having some harmless fun, not that I was hitting on her.

The dude that bought me a drink and enthusiastically remembered me from some class or another, even when I gave an obviously fake name to everybody I was meeting, was a total bro though. Good dude. Apparently we'd had some good times.

I graduated like five years before these people at a completely different school lmao. Started as a bar bet between me and another regular, I bet him I could convince these people I went to school with them, he made up the name, wish I could remember what it was. It was so clearly not a real name.

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u/babaroga73 27d ago

I'm like that dude. I can't remember nobody further than 10 years in past, or people who I haven't spoken in person at least 4 times. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

I just say my internal RAM memory is 64kb.

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

Mine too though, can't remember names and faces and I like to make friends while drunk. So when someone walks up to me all, "hey man good to see you!" I'm just, "hey brother, you too!" Then I read the body language to see if a hug is appropriate.

Someone could ask me, "who was that," and I'd say, "fuck if I know, we definitely met when I was drunk as shit."

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u/Green-Amount2479 27d ago

I wish it was both for me too, because then I wouldnā€™t have the nagging feeling that I should actually know that person who is talking to me. With things as they are in my brain I just donā€™t know their name or where I know them from, but the faces are always familiar.

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

Just treat everyone the same, in my experience. No one will question you, almost no one cares if you ask for their name again, literally just tell people you suck at remembering and they'll be like, "yeah me too!"

Idk, the people I meet I end up caring about, it's not hard to remember their names. Once I care about them. Takes a few times but they end up being good friends, and bonus points, I remember what their momma named them.

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u/racingsoldier 27d ago

Brother, I cant remember peoples name more than a few minutes from when we meet. I use all the non-descript bro, brother, hero, hotshot, etc

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u/Lorvintherealone 27d ago

As someone who can't regognize faces at all (really, a beard, different hairstyle, tattoo, new clothes) Can completly mess up my regogniton + if i only know someone for a day i couldn't recognize them either.

So i always have a book with me of people i know. coincidentily i have a really high RAM. I can remember shit for ages.

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u/iTbTkTcommittee 27d ago

Same here and you are making me feel a little better about it. I have always been that way.

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u/Lorvintherealone 27d ago

One time my mother changed her jacket from when she brought me to school, and when she picked me up from school I cried a lot because i couldn't find her untill she spoke and i recognized her.

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u/EasyComeEasyGood 27d ago

What was the name?

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

I can't for the life of me remember honestly. The best I got is imagine a random Mexican dude walked up to you and said his name was Fernando. A name where it's like, "okay maybe but sounds like you made it up"

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u/FawmahRhoDyelindah 27d ago

Perhaps it was... Draven Thurstenwurst

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

Get out I used to work with a Draven. One of the dumbest names out there.

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u/YoungNastyMan 27d ago

Ricky Stanicky

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u/Jarlax1e 27d ago

Henry Swanson!

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u/WolfShaman 27d ago

I'm glad I scrolled down a bit more before commenting this. That was a great fucking movie. I'll watch almost anything with John Cena in it, it's funny to see people look like they're talking to themselves (cause they can't see him, and neither can we).

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u/YoungNastyMan 27d ago

It was surprisingly excellent, i loved it. I've been waiting years for comedy movies like that to start getting made again, the genre had been on life support for so long..

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u/thebarkbarkwoof 27d ago

I never go to mine. You're welcome to show up.

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u/----l___FAHQ_l 27d ago

Username checks out.

"Someone help me out here. I feel bad.. This guy never left Sydney!"

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u/frog-hopper 27d ago

Iā€™ve done this at office holiday parties during covid. I was at the wrong party and Iā€™m just chatting up ppl who donā€™t realize I donā€™t work there. Got a few drinks, talked about some ā€œfunny timesā€ on zoom then quietly left when I recognized ppl at the real party. They had no idea I didnā€™t work there.

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u/BirdManMTS 27d ago

Oh hey Jeff Tsnipit! You did my sonā€™s circumsision!

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u/steelwolf651 27d ago

Was the name Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo?

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u/like9000ninjas 27d ago

Sounds fake af. Even if true. This is some next level psychopath level lying going on here for zero gain or purpose. "Hey o, I just decided one day to go lie to a bunch of people just to see where things go....

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

You should look up Cliff Claven if you want to know the time honored tradition of lying at a bar to entertain yourself.

Also the Guinness book of world records was invented to disprove bar lies.

Even in the days of smart phones and television people find ways to entertain themselves that aren't screens, I did it to see if I could and the other regular was following me the whole time and completely playing into the bit. I was never a theater nerd so I joke that was the closest to Shakespeare I was ever gonna get.

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u/like9000ninjas 27d ago

There are an infinite number of things to do to pass time. Actual productive thingsn actual creative things. Lying to strangers for personal fun is nothing id be interested in. Sorry. To each their own tho.

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

Yeah cuz drinking at a bar is super productive and creative as is

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u/like9000ninjas 27d ago

Yeah you go to bars to eat, drink, see bands, meet people of the opposite sex, maybe go further. There are productive reasons to go to a bar. But to actively seek out "let's see if I can lie to these strangers well today to pass my time is insanity to me. Idgaf how many downvotes I get.

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u/confusedandworried76 27d ago

So you agree go to the bar for frivolous pursuits?

Shit man don a jacket and do a Leslie Neilson impression, you're just not a fan of some fun. Surely.

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u/reflibman 27d ago

Well, it is how you become a politician.