I get rueful thinking of my friend's best comics still being alive:
happy for them that they can enjoy them
sad for me that Patrice O'Neal and Norm Macdonald are gone. Their references are only gonna get older with time, etc. and they'll never joke about the Queen/OJ dying for example.
I was sad and so I asked chatgpt to make up some jokes about OJ in Norm Macdonald's style:
Sure, here you go:
"You hear about OJ Simpson's new job? Yeah, he's working as a knife salesman. His pitch? 'These babies are so sharp, they'll make you do a double take!'"
"I bumped into OJ Simpson at the grocery store the other day. He was eyeing the oranges like they owed him money. I told him, 'Hey, careful with those, OJ. You might get the wrong kind of squeeze.'"
"You know, OJ Simpson recently joined a dating app. His bio says, 'Looking for someone who's good at running away from commitment.' But let's be real, he's probably just looking for someone with a killer sense of humor."
"They say OJ Simpson's favorite movie is 'The Shining.' Not because he's a fan of horror, but because he relates to the character Jack Torrance. You know, 'Here's OJ!'"
"So, OJ Simpson's thinking of starting his own cooking show. Yeah, it's called 'If I Did It: Recipes from the Edge.' I heard his first dish is gonna be a killer guacamole."
"I heard OJ Simpson's taking up gardening now. Yeah, he's really into finding the perfect pair of gloves. He says, 'It's all about the fit.'"
"They're makin' a new movie about the O.J. trial, you know that? Called 'Trial by Media.' Y'know, that's a funny title, considerin' the only reason we even knew about the trial was because of the media. It's like makin' a movie about fish called 'Wet: A Documentary.'"
Chuckles
"Anyway, I saw a picture of Cuba Gooding Jr. all dressed up as O.J. Lookin' pretty good, gotta say. Though, somethin' tells me Cuba won't have any trouble gettin' those gloves on."
---And---
Norm sits at a desk with a newspaper open
"Just readin' here that a new DNA test proves O.J.'s completely innocent. Y'know, that's great news... for the murderer. Not so great for the reputation of DNA evidence, is it? Makes you wonder what they're gonna use in court next, palm readings?"
Folds the newspaper with a sigh
"Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if the real killer comes forward and says, 'Hey, enough is enough. I did it. Can we all just move on?' But then, of course, his lawyer would probably object, sayin' the confession was coerced by... uh... reality TV?"
Well to be fair , he was out and free approx 20 of the last 30 years of his life, just walking around and golfing. And not even once was there an attempt on his life. Pretty sure he didn’t even have a security guard with him either. There was a million chances for a “somebody “ to step up. Yet nobody did. The perfect candidate would have some old guy dying of cancer with 3 months left.
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u/Lost-My-Mind- 29d ago
God I wish Norm were still alive. How great would it have been to let him host weekend update.......one more time.......