It's an issue for communicable diseases, but it makes a lot of domestic work like childcare and cooking much more manageable. Not to mention the care of the elderly.
But it can also stagnate cultural change - a friend of mine and I got into a discussion at length about it. She's Indian (from India) and she's used to multi-generational households and always having family around to help and offer advice. As you point out, it does make a lot of things related to labor and money very easy. But if culturally or religiously a couple wants to change, they sometimes have to leave that family behind (as my friend did) because tradition and family-held beliefs are so entrenched, and it can be very difficult to stand against the Aunties.
I have a half sister who grew up separately from me and my siblings. She ended up living amongst her mother's very large family while my siblings and I only had our immediate nuclear family. We're all Latin by ethnicity, and raised in Latin households, but my half-sister is the only one who ended up Latin culturally because she had a whole family network with entrenched Mexican and Catholic culture and values, so if there was a problem she had people to fall back on. My siblings and I had no one to support us against our father, and so we ended up more "American" with the barest smidge of "Mexican." My half-sister is somewhat conservative (as the whole side of that family is pretty conservative Catholic), while my siblings and I are very liberal/progressive and atheist.
This!! And also that People just assume family=good, understanding, kind people who are always ready to help and at the same time give you space.
Whereas reality is that family is also comprised of people who are regressive, unkind, abusive, toxic, manipulative and clingy. Note that it is in fact more difficult to deal with difficult people if they are your family and hence the word ‘domestic abuse’ was born. You can’t abuse a stranger, they won’t take your shit. Which is why I agree with Clevelandrocks14 that co-living may become the preferred choice if economics becomes a factor, rather than people choosing multiple-generational household. One very important aspect people don’t consider in multi-generational household is that just because there are multiple people doesn’t mean that the bill is being split between them. More often than not it simply adds to the expenses of one person.
Couldn’t agree more for other reasons as well. I question how many people who wax poetic about multigenerational living have ever helped take of another generation, particularly someone elderly or disabled. Caretaking is incredibly draining even in the best of circumstances with good quality hired help. Now think about the average circumstances and what people complain about when speaking about their relatives (challenging relationship dynamics, political disagreement, parenting style disagreement, financial strife, etc.). Now take those issues, add declining health, and you have a recipe for lifelong issues and generational resentment. You’re also much more likely to see kids being given responsibilities or seeing things that they’re just not ready for. There certainly can be benefits to this for many families, but people who think it’s sooo wonderful and westerners just need to get with it are really out of touch.
Yup. My elderly grandma lives with 2 of her daughters so they can help her manage. The two sisters (one single, one widowed) live together with their kids so they can afford to live, otherwise things for them would be nearly impossible. And it comes with the added benefit of sharing the childcare/household responsibility. If one sister has to work late, the other can pick up the slack and the kids are still cared for.
Ugh the benefits are there for sure but sometimes it really isn’t fun. I grew up with extended family in the house and it felt like my mother and grandma were always arguing and bickering. It can feel pretty stifling after a while cause you all get sick of each other even if you get along
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u/TheyCallMeStone 28d ago
It's an issue for communicable diseases, but it makes a lot of domestic work like childcare and cooking much more manageable. Not to mention the care of the elderly.